Raymond LeFlyr

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Friends, Raymond here. This time I am able to offer you a different form of enhancement – not merely masculine – but marvelously monetary!

Y’ see I find myself, like you, frequently influenced by television commercials. Oh, I’m sure we’ve all purchased products pushed by that guy with the annoying voice who sells miracle-cleaning products and says, “but wait”. (By the way, anybody need an extra gallon or two of PaBoom?).

Well the other night I saw this new add offering to send you money for your old, useless, crummy, out of date – gold. Yes its that simple: you send them your jewelry and they send you money. Didn’t say how much money, or how much per ounce BUT WHO CARES!

I immediately saw the opportunity to empty my wife’s jewelry box to get some cash for a new 4-stroker (or a sheet of balsa). But then I got to thinking, “is there any way I can do something similar to – er, make that FOR – my wonderful buddies in the Crew. Eureka! I shouted as inspiration struck!

So here’s the deal; in the unlikely event that you don’t get a lot of cash for your wife’s sparkles, just send me your OLD ENGINES and I will send you check back within days (please hold all checks for a month or two)! Yes, yes I know what you’re thinking - but I really am NOT a saint or an angel. PM me for details and the address to send your engines to.

combatpigg

My Feedback: (3)

Raymond, you mean those commercials that come on at 100 db just as you're drifting off...dreaming about rescuing MaryAnne from Gilligans' Island? I think this get rich quick scheme you've cooked up has already been tried by Jim Goad of World Engines? What did he do, buy all of our worn out Fox .40s and resell them to hobbyists in third world countries?
The commercials that shock me are the ones where they promise those poor tax evaders that they speak the IRS's language and can get them off the hook for pennies on the dollar. The bankruptcy attorneys are just as bad with their mid afternoon ads that they play to the couch potatoes as they lounge in front of their giant screen TVs. The last figure I heard was the average American household is carrying $17,000 in credit card debt......but they are all living in nicer houses and driving fancier cars than I do.....why is that []?
Anyway, how are you going to explain this to your wife when your house gets flooded with a bunch of used smelly engines and you've drained all your savings to fund this philanthropic effort?

MJD

My Feedback: (1)

Hey, lay off there buster, she's MY fantasy girl! You can have Mrs. Howell. [:'(]

I was amazed and astounded a couple of years back, when I was on a biz trip somewhere and flipping through 700 channels with the remote while I lay bored to tears in the hotel room. So I hit this one station, and there was Dawn Wells herself - in her 50's, and hosting this:

http://www.infinityfilms.ca/producti...ies_wells.html

I guess to stay alive she must have learned a few angling tricks from the Professor... I'm sure he had a good idea where to point a rod. I thought of stalking her and and scuba diving under the boat in a merman costume, but I don't like the idea of taking a treble hook in the soft palate just to meet the girl of my yesteryear dreams.

MJD

combatpigg

My Feedback: (3)

She just recently got busted with a magic cigarette. You can have her, I'll take Barbara Eden. [:-]

rainedave

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I never cared for Reelality TV. Seriously, Elizabeth Montgomery had all those '60s TV stars beat.

David

Dan Vincent

Don't forget Emma Peel from the Avengers and Agent-99 from Get Smart (Barbara Feldon)

Oh yeah....ELVIRA

skaliwag

My Feedback: (1)

And ... please don't rule out Bailey. Bailey might be '70's?.... It's the glasses. '60's, '70's, '80"s, elliptical tips, ... who cares ... all eye candy to an olde fart.

Raymond LeFlyr

My Feedback: (2)

Yeah, yeah, glad youse all have noticed that they show sexy females on TV. But gimme a break. I'm trying to make a quick buck here. So quit fantasizing and box up them engines.

(But since you brought it up, sign me up for Audrey Hepburn.)

combatpigg

My Feedback: (3)

All I can say about that shot of Elizabeth Montgomery is, "BOOOIIIINNNNGG!!!!"

eroc144

My Feedback: (1)

Y'mean the Bailey from WKRP? Yow. There's another show with a "Ginger vs Mary Ann" problem (or Betty vs Veronica, etc). Bailey. Hands down. And never forget, "As God is my witness . . . I thought turkeys could fly." I knew I could get this back to flying, somehow...

EG

PS - Raymon, you ain't gettin none of my stinkin' Norvels, PAWs, or other gems. I was no born yesterday. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

longdan

I thought this scam, um, I mean scheme involved you PAYING money for engines - that is, everyone else makes a quick buck except you.

Do you except siezed, broken engines that will never run again?

franklin_m

My personal favorite was always Grace Kelly.

rainedave

My Feedback: (1)

I knew Grace Kelly's niece when I lived in Philly. She was very unpretentious; wore jeans and rode a bicycle to work. The Kelly family was Philadelphia "royalty" at one time. It would be hard to choose between Kelly and Hepburn. Both were so incredibly classy. The exact opposite of today's brats like Paris Hilton, et. al.

David

sigflyer

My Feedback: (5)

I always dreamed of jeannie......just think "Jeannie I want a new motor.......oh yea....and a tank of gas"........................."YES MASTER".............................later Johnny


Oh yea Raymond,,,I sent you an old Cox "Space Hopper 049" still in the original blister pak. I know it's old and probably not worth anything but a couple of dollars will work

build light

I had a few favs as well.
I think Doris Day was first and of course who could forget Dawn Wells (Mary Ann)!
Naturally Elizabeth Montgomery and Barbara Eden as well.
Stephanie Powers as the GIRL FROM U.N.C.L.E. and Yvonne Craig as Batgirl and oh yeah, Lee Merriwether who played Catwoman, and I cannot leave out Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman!
I actually met Elvira at an advertising convention and she looked even better in person than on tv! Must have been the 3D effect of being up close and in person!

Raymond, When I saw those ads, a friend of mine wanted to send her junk jewelry into them and see what she could get. I advised against it and said you could do the same thing at many pawn shops and have the money even quicker but that she would get a pittance for what it was actually worth. We decided she would first go to a pawn shop and see what their offer was and then try the other and lo and behold she could have gotten more from the pawn shop! almost twice as much...

I would feel better giving you my junk merely because You would have more appreciation than those money hoarders...

Good luck my friend!

Robert

DICKEYBIRD

OK, I'll see ya'lls and raise you HEATHER LOCKLEAR! The 6 Million Dollar Man show was over 30 years ago and she STILL looks good!

skaliwag

My Feedback: (1)

Katherin Ross.. I met her at a memorial 5years ago.. Still looks good.. She and Sam are very freindly sincere people.

DeviousDave

Heh-heh..!

Raymond LeFlyr

My Feedback: (2)

Oh Johnny! I should have known you'd louse up my "scheme" with your cussed all-American-ness. So, let me revise my "offer" as follows . . .

“Should any of youse-all have engines (working or not, substantial rust if a plus) that you wish to exchange for Euros, Pesos, Chinkos (?), or any other healthy and growing currency, hear me out. I now request that you place them in a special place (close to a source of water and porcelain) until I, and my usual entourage of 6 or 8 drop in to your humble home for exchange of goods and photo-op (the media WILL have their way with me). Be prepared for no more than 24-hour notice.”

Eroc! Ok, ok you can keep your “stinkin' Norvels, PAWs, or other gems” (are you sure about the PAWs?).

Because I grovel humbly at your feet since you exposed my faulty heritage. Never have I been brought so low (others have failed). “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” Oh how cruel!

P.S. Youse-all’s mention of those small-screen beauties has curiously stirred mid-body anatomical responses in me! Nah, its probably something I et.

flyswatter

Raymond, your willingness to do so much for your friends got me to thinking. I personally don't want to take advantage of a friend's generous offer - I mean I don't want you to overpay for my old, no-account engines. So, if you will send your check first, then I will make sure you don't get stuck with one of my old clunkers.

BTW, all them gals were pretty, but most of them now have gone the way of Raymond...and me! But imagination is wonderful thing - like imagine if Raymond sends his check to me first - just imagine the pristine, primo RR1 I send back to him! Or not.

propbuster

My Feedback: (1)

Raymond, So how much is it really going to cost me to send you all my old crappy Cox engines?? Do you think I can right it off as a business loss on my taxes next year?[sm=confused.gif] You mentioned Balsa, I went to my LHS to pick up some for a new wing I'm building and almost had a heart attack at their prices! Also, I met Dawn Wells a few years ago at a charity event in Houston and boy she was still hot![sm=thumbs_up.gif]

Raymond LeFlyr

My Feedback: (2)

‘Swatter! That’s a swell variation on my desire to provide youse-all CrewMen with all the reward you so richly deserve. Saves time and gets you your compensation right up front. Jeeze, why didn't I think of it? Sure I'd be happy to send you a check for your engine before you actually send it to me. I guess the best course to take would be to assume that you're going to forward a jewel of American or European origin and compensate you appropriately.

But what if I sent you more than you thought the engine was worth? Just think how embarrassed you’d be! Oh, I could never take such a chance! The moral and ethical standards of a Southern gentleman like yourself might not hold up to such a blow and could lead to mental collapse – might even drive you to (spit) golf! So go ahead and unbolt your favorite engine (a large gasser would be OK) and send it along. (Save postage and include something from Patrick.)

Prop’, “crappy Cox engines”? Ha, ha, ha, knee-slap, snort! Just give me a minute to catch my breath (pant, pant).

Hmm, good point on the rising cost of balsa though. Sometime in the future I might have to extend my generosity to include 3x36 sheets. But the new postal regulations discourage long thin packages. (BTW any new “Grace-ious”designs on the board?)

combatpigg

My Feedback: (3)

RLeF, If I subscribe to this wallet enhancement service of yours, will I start getting pestered again by that AMWAY cult? []

vicman

My Feedback: (10)

The whole wallet enhancment idea reminds me of an old joke about a doctor who gave his friend a wallet made of "special skins" [X(]

I'm still in love with Maryann too, and she could've been my mom.[sm=tongue_smile.gif][sm=what_smile.gif]

combatpigg

My Feedback: (3)

Vic, she's 70, has a glass eye and none of her own teeth. You'll just have to get in line behind me and MJD.