Hi Chris,
Your wife sounds like a wonderful person, but you are wise to set aside the A-10 until you know how to fly.
Another free simulator is FMS:
http://n.ethz.ch/student/mmoeller/fms/index_e.html
It's pretty nice, and the price is right.
It is often not possible to be flying away from yourself when landing your plane. I would not recommend trying to do that. Out in the real world, the layout of your flying field and the direction of the wind may not allow it anyway, so you are far better off learning to fly your plane no matter its orientation. This takes practice, practice, and more practice. A simulator can be very helpful, but there is no substitute for actual flying.
You will be best served by getting a stable, slow-flying trainer-type plane. The idea of a trainer is that it gives you enough time to react and make corrections during all stages of a flight. A good trainer is also self-correcting to some extent. Simply letting go of the control sticks will tend to bring a trainer back to straight and level flight.
Even so, landings are challenging. If you can find a local club or an experienced pilot to help you, that would be the way to go. If not, you can still learn on your own. You must be emotionally prepared for the likelihood of crashing and then repairing your plane. Few R/C pilots learn to fly without a few damaging crashes. It's not fun when that happens, but you can't let it get you down. It is a part of the learning experience for almost all of us. We have ALL been there!
Good luck,
Jeff