RE: let's hear your funny-stupid old sayings
A couple I use often -
if someone asks me a question i will start by saying -
"i'm dumb as a box of hammers and i've screwed up everything i've ever done, but i've learned alot along the way"
then i will give my answer.
"you can't push a chain"
"i'll pay you back when my brother the hunch-back straightens out"
and when i'm leaving somewhere instead of saying "see you tommorrow" or "see you soon" i am likely to say "see you sometime next year"
and if someone drops something of some-what value, i'll usually say "we didn't need that anyway"
and of course, the infamous "thats what she said" works for just about anything.