combatman

Hello everyone! I am a Newsletter editor for a model airplane club, and was wondering if any of you know of internet sites that have good jokes and quotes about model aviation. I have already checked out Clay Ramskill's Newsletter editor site (a great one!), and the Flying Penguin site as well (another good one!). I was just wondering if there are others too...

rryman

My Feedback: (2)

Here's some of my collection. Most were written for full scale aircraft, but most also apply to model flying!!
Randy



Words To Live By For Any Aviator

1. It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there than to be up there wishing
you were down here.

2. An airplane will probably fly a little bit over gross, but it won’t fly without fuel.

3. Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.

4. If you’re ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on your landing lights.
If you don’t like what you see, turn’em off!

5. Never let an airplane take you to someplace your brain didn’t get to five minutes
earlier.

6. Too many pilots are found in the wreckage of an airplane with their hands around
a microphone. Don’t drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone. An airplane
flys because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.

7. Fly it until the last piece stops moving.

8. Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.

9. Keep looking around, there’s always something you missed.

10. Remember, you’re always a student in an airplane.

11. Any pilot who does not at least privately consider himself the best in the business
is in the wrong business.

12. It is best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

13. Hovering is for pilots who love to fly, but have no place to go.

14. The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire.

15. A jet fighter in the air is a dual emergency because you’re always low on fuel and
on fire. A single engine jet in the air is a triple emergency.

16. The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who
was once a captain.

17. A terminal forcast is a horoscope with numbers.


18. Takeoffs are optional-landings are mandantory.

19. The first thing every pilot does after making a gear up landing is to put the gear
handle “down”.

20. A good landing is one which you can walk away from. A great landing is one which
allows you to use the airplane again.

21. A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

22. Good judgement comes from experience. Good experience comes from someone
else’s bad judgement.

23. An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won’t surprise him.

24. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make them all
yourself.

25. Things which do you no good in aviation: 1. The air above you 2. The runway
behind you 3. The fuel you don’t have 4. Half a second in history 5. Approach
plates you left in the car 6. The airspeed you don’t have.

26. A smooth landing in a simulator is about as exciting as kissing your sister.

27. Three things that kill young pilots in Alaska: Weather, Weather, Weather.

combatman

Thanks, Randy!! These are funny.

Unstable

here you go.

a great sight i found

http://www.skygod.com/quotes/

Dago Red

My Feedback: (11)

Ive only got one,
No peeling out on the runway!!

rryman

My Feedback: (2)

Here's one I read a long time ago in some magazine. Definitions for the hobby.

RC Helicopter pilot: A person capable of inputing 4 simultaneous inputs to the helicopter.

RC Helicopter: A machine requiring "5" simultaneous inputs!

Randy

BalsaOvercast

My Feedback: (16)

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.
S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it's sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don't step on 'em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: Whole aircraft smells like BBQ
S: Ground Checks OK

digger.10

I agree, the Flying Penguin site is great, not updated very often but what's there will keep you laughing for a while.

Goinstraightup

My Feedback: (26)

Go to Landings.com. I don't know if the stuff is copywrited, but there is a HUGE humor section. Lots of funny stuff there.

In addition to the above:

P: No. 1 engine has unfamiliar sound.
S: Listened to No. 1 engine all morning. Sound is no longer unfamiliar.