redskyhawk
Posts: 9
Score: 100
Joined: 1/10/2009
Last Login: 5/4/2013
From: La Crosse,
WI, USA
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For all of you Corsair fans and builders here is an oldie but a goodie that you may or may not have seen before...
The following letter was written shortly after WWII by Richard W. Demott, as a joke in connection with business he was then doing with Chance-Vought Aviation. Ten years later Demott was unmasked as the author. His war record included 800 hours in the F4U, and he won the Navy Cross for leading a flight of 12 Corsairs in the dive bombing and sinking of the Japanese Battleship Haruna.
The letter was addressed to:
Mr. W. H. McCarty
Chancey Sikorski Corsehair Co.
Ft. Worth, Texas
DERE MR MCARTY
INCLOSE I AM ATTACH A PITCHER OF MY ARRPLANE IN WHICH YOU WILL NOTE THEIR HAS BIN SOME TROUBLE OF AN SERRIOUS NATURE I AM DESIROUS TO LEAVE YOU HERE ABOUT. THIS PARICKLAR ARRPLANE ORICHINALLY MADE BY THEM PLUMBERS OF YOURN WAS SOLT TO ME AT A WAR ASSETS ADMINISTRATION SAIL IN THE TOWN OF HOCKEYJOCK ARK. LASS MONTH, A MISTER MORRIS FINESTINE WAS AGENT FOR THE TRAMSHACKSHUN. THIS FINESTINE WAS PASSIN THROUGH TOWN AT THE TIME BYING UP ALL KIND OF SERPLUSS EQUIPMENT AND HE GOT WIND THERE WAS A ARRPLANE STASHED AWAY IN THE COUNTY. THIS HERE PARTICKLAR JOB WAS FLEW IN HEAR BACK IN AWGUST OF 45 BY A NAVY FAIRY PILOT AND HAD SET OVER TO THE FIELD IN NORTH HOCKEYJOCK EVER SINCE. THE NAVY FELLER WAS FLYIN ENROOT TO SANDY AIGO THE DAY THE JAPPS THREW IN THERE JOCKS AND QUIT, AND THIS FELLER HERE THIS OVER THE RADDIO. IMMEDIATELEY WHEN HE HERE THIS HE SET DOWN AT THE NEAREST FIELD WHICH WAS OURS AND INSIDE OF AN HOUR HE WAS PISSYASS DRUNK LYIN STIFF IN JAKE BRAGANS PLACE, CELEBRATIN PEACE. FROM THE TIME THIS NAVY FELLER LAND HERE I SORT OF HAD MY EYE ON THIS HERE PLANE AND A WEEK LATER WHEN HE FELL OUT OF THE UPSTAIRS WINDOW OF MABEL'S PLACE AND LIKE TO TORE HIS ASS OFF ON THE RAIN BARREL AND WAS TOOK OFF TO THE HORSESPITTLE I AND GEORGE MURCH HITCH UP THE TEAM AND HAUL THE ARRPLANE QUIET LIKE OVER BEHINT THE WILLOWS ON EAST 40. WE FIGGGER WE LEAVE HER THERE TILL THINGS QUIET AND CALM DOWN, THEN WE USE HER FOR SPORTIN ABOUT IN THE EVENINGS AFTER CHORES.
WELL, WE KEEP THINGS PERTY QUIET AND FIRST THING WE KNOW IT LOOK LIKE THE NAVY HAS PLUMB FORGIT THE HOLE THING. WE JUST ABOUT GET FEELIN GOOD ABOUT THIS WHEN THIS NOZEY AGINT BASSARD SLIP INTO TOWN AND GET WIND UP THERE IS A ARRPLANE HID IN THE AREA. THIS FELLER SNOOP AROUNT ON THE SLY AND SURE ENUFF IT DON'T TAKE THE BASSARD LONG TO EASE DOWN BEHINT THE WILLOW AND SEE HER SITTIN THERE NEAT AS A PLOVER'S EGG. WE DONT ARGUE WITH THIS AGINT AND AFTER HE CALM DOWN SOME COOL OFF HE SEE WE WANT THIS PLANE PERTY BAD SO HE SAYS HE'LL SEE CAN HE ARRANGE SOME SORT OF DEAL ALLTHO IT WILL BE UNREGGLAR AND WILL REQUIRE SOME FANCY MANEUVERIN. HE COME AROUNT THE NEXT MORNIN AND REAL CONFIDENSHALL LIKE TELL US HE WORKED OUT A ORAL CONTRACK WHEREBY WE JUST PAY HIM A COUPLE HUNNERT DOLLARS AND OWN THE ARRPLANE OUT RITE FREE AND CLEAR AND THAT HE WILL FORWARD THE PAPERS WHEN HE GET TO WASHINGTON IN A FEW WEEKS. BEING SMART WE PAY HIM A HUNNERT DOLLARS AND AGREE TO PAY THE REST WHEN HE WRITE US FROM WASHINGTON AND HE HAULED OUT OF TOWN AND WE AINT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE.
WELL, GEORGE AND I HAUL HER OUT THE DAY THE FAIR OPENED AND GREASE HER DOWN REAL GOOD AND PUMP UP THE TIRES AND GET HER ALL SET TO GO. SHE BEEN SETTIN NOW FOR AITEEN MONTH BUT BEIN BEHINT THEM WILLOWS HAS KEPT HER PRETTY WELL FROM WEATHERIN. HAVIN FLEWED WITH YOUNG SPROWL SEVERAL TIMES AND HAVIN SEEN ALL THEM MOVIES AND READ ALL THEM STORIES ABOUT ARRPLANES I HAVE A GOOD DEAL OF ECKSPERIENCE TO DRAWR ON AND AM VERY COMPATENT OF MY ABILITY. WE SET HER OUT ON THE EDGE OF THE FAIRGROUNDS AND POINT HER OVER AT RALPH EASBY'S PLACE AIMIN RIGHT BETWEEN THE CHIMMINEYS WHICH IS DOO NORTH. I READ IN A BOOK ONE TIME WHERE MOST ARRPLANES TAKE TO THE AIR MUCH BETTER IF THEYRE AIMED NORTH. WE FIGGER HAVIN SET AS LONG AS SHE HAS THET SHE MIGHT NEED A-FUELIN SO GEORGE FETCH A SMALL DRUM OF COIL OIL FROM THE STORE AND SHE TAKE ALL OF IT. THE SIGN AROUNT THE SPICKET SAID SOMETHING OR OTHER ABOUT "AROMATIK SPIRITS" SO JAKE BRAGAN KICK IN WIT A QUART OF HIS BEST WHITE MULE. SHE KICK UP ABIT AT FIRST BUT STOP SMOKIN AND FIZZEN WHEN WE CLAMP THE TANK CAP BACK ONTO HER AND QUIETS DOWN RIGHT SOON.
WHEN WE ARE ALL FINISHED I GET INSIDE AND SET DOWN IN THE CHAIR AND START FIGGERIN HOW TO START THE MOTOR. ITS A RIGHT GUSTY DAY AND WHILE IM SETTIN THAIR THE WIND KEEPS SLAPPIN THE JOYCE STICK AROUNT AND IT RAP ME A FEW RIGHT SHARP WHACKS IN THE KNEES. THET NAVY FELLER WAS IN SUCH A RUSH TO GET OVER TO THE SALOON THET HE LEFT EVERYTHING LAY LOOSE LIKE. GEORGE AND I DONT TAKE LONG TO SEE WHATS WRONG HOWEVER, BOTH BEIN NATURAL BORNED MECHANICKS, AND WE JUST TAKE SUME BAILIN WIRE AND LASK THET THRASHIN JOYCE STICK RIGHT SMART OVER TO ONE CORNER WHERE SHES OUTEN THE WAY AND STRAPPED DOWN REAL GOOD. YESSIR, WHEN I AND GEORGE LASH EM DOWN, THEY STAY LASHED.
WE PAY HOB TRYIN TO GET THET MOTOR START AS ALL THEM SWITCHES INSIDE SEEM TO START ALL SORTS OF WHIRRIN AND WHISLTIN SOUNDS GOIN ALL AT ONCE AND IM BUSIER'N A ONE LEGGED MAN AT A ASS KICKIN CONTESS FLICKIN ALL THEM SWITCHES AND PUSHIN AND PULLIN ALL THEM KNOBS TRYIN TO CRANK THE MOTOR OVER. I FINALLY GET HER TO KICK AND SPUT A FEW TIMES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN WITH A ROAR SHE CATCH, BACKFIRE LOUD ENOUGH TO SCARE A DEAF MULE, AND SHOOTS A STREAK OF FLAME AND FIRE A YARD LONG OUT THE ECKZAWST HOLE. GEORGE IS STANDIN ON THE WING BENDIN OVER TAKIN UP A SHOE LACE AND IT CATCHES HIM RIGHT SMART AND LIKE TO SCARE HIM HALF TO DEATH, LAST I SEE OF HIM HES STILL RUNNIN ACROST THE FIELD HOWLIN LIKE A SCALDED DOG.
THEY WAS QUITE A CROWD GATHERED BY NOW WAITEN TO SEE ME FLY THIS HERE JOB CHEERIN AND CALLIN TO ME SO I GET SET TO GO AND START PUSHIN AND PULLIN A BUNCH OF HANDLES AND KNOBS REAL CAUTIOUS LIKE UNTIL FINALLY I FIND THE ONE THAT JAZZES THE ENGINE RIGHT GOOD. ITS GOT A LITTLE BUTTON ONTO THE TOP OF IT THAT FOR ALL THE WORLD LOOKS LIGHT A DURN TIT AND AFTER READIN ALL THEM STORIES ABOUT THEM WILD FLIERS AND THEIR FAST WIMMEN I FIGGER IVE GOT MY HAND ON THE RIGHT THING AT LAST. I JAZZ HER A FEW TIMES TO GET THE CROWDS ATTENSHUN AND WHEN THEYRE ALL WAVIN TO ME AND YELLING I LOOK OUT AT EM, LEAVE EM HAVE A BIG SMILE AND SPIT REAL CASUAL AND DELIBBARATE-LIKE LIKE I SEEN THET FELLER DO IN THE MOVIES, AND THEN JAM THE TIT HANDLE PLUMB UP TO THE HILT. THE MOTOR LEAVES OFF A ROAR THE LIKE OF WHICH I AINT EVER HEERD IN ALL MY BORNED DAYS AND I GIT SHOVVED AGINST THE BACK OF THE SEAT SO HARD I CAINT HARDLY CATCH MY BRETH AND THET ARRPLANE STARTS BUCKIN AND BOUNCIN ACCROST THE FEELD LIKE A BUCK STALLION IN HEAT. I NEVER FEEL SO MUCH POWER STRAPPED ONTO ONE MACHINE IN ALL MY LIFE AND THE GROUND KEEPS WHIRRIN BY FASTER AND FASTER AND THEM CHIMMENYS OVER TO EASBY'S KEEP GROWIN BIGGER AND BIGGER. IT DONT TAKE ME LONG TO REALIZE THET THINGS ARNT GOIN RITE ABOUT THE TIME I SEE PEOPLE SCATTERIN FOR COVER FROM EASBY'S YARD SO I START LOOKIN FOR THE HANDLE WHICH WILL HIST THE ARRPLANE OF THE GROUN. THERES A WHEEL SAY "NOSE-UP" ON IT SO I QUICK-LIKE GIVE HER A TWIRL AND THEN SHUT MY EYES. I FEEL THET ARRPLANE HOP OFF THE GROUN AND START TWIRLIN AROUN IN THE AIR LIKE A OAK LEEF IN A TWISTER AND WHEN I TAKE A PEEK, WERE GOIN STRAIT UP AND IM LOOKIN PLUMB DOWN OLD EASBY'S NORTH FLUE. IM NOT LOOKIN FOR LONG THO AS THE NEXT THING I KNOW THE SKY, THE GROUN, THE CLOUDS, TREES, BARNS, COWS, THE SKY ARE ALL JUMBLED UP AN I CAINT FIGGER WHERE I AM FROM ONE MINUTE TO THE NEXT. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PLANE STARTS SHAKIN AND JUMPIN AROUNT LIKE ITS GOT THE AGUE AN THE MOTOR STARTS SNARLIN AND MOANIN POWERFUL LOUD AND THEN THE GROUN STARTS COMIN UP RIGHT FAST. I SHUT MY EYES AGIN AND HOLT ON REAL TIGHT AN THEN ITS ALL OVER. THEYS A TERRIFIC JOLT, A BIG SPLASH, THEN ALLS QUIET. I FIGGER SURE ENUFF IM DEADER'N HELL AN ON MY WAY TO HEVVIN.
UNTIL I FEEL THET COLD WATER START CREEPIN UP AROUNT MY BUTT AND WHEN I OPEN MY EYES GODDAM IF I AINT SETTIN PLUMB SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOLEYHANS CREEK WITH A BUNCH OF REED BIRDS CLACKIN AND SKWAKIN ALL EXCITED OVER MY HEAD.
WELL, MR MAC ARTY, THATS MY STORY AN BEIN A MAN OF OVER AVERAGE INTELLIGENTS AN UNLIMITED PATIENCE, I HAVE GIVEN CONSIDDERIBLE MOUNT OF THOUGHT TO THIS INSIDENT AND I GUESS I DONT NEED LEAVE YORE IMMAGINASHUN FURTHER GUESS HOW PISSED OFF I AM AN HOW DISSAPPOINT I AM REGARDS YOUR ARRPLANE. I CANT HELP BUT THINK OF ALL THEM OTHER PEEPLE WHO PUT THERE STRICKEST CONNFIDENTS IN THEM MACHINES AND FURST THING YOU KNOW SOMEBUDDYS GONNA GET HIS ASS TORE OUT AFORE HE KNOWS WHAT HIT IM. THEREFORE AN SINCE YOU ARE THE SURVICE MANNAGER OF THIS HERE CHANCEY SIKORSKI CORSEHAIR COMPANNY I FEEL YOU HAVE A VERY RESPONSIBLE SERVICE TO PERFORM TO ALL THEM PEEPLE WHO MAY BE DESIROUS TO FLY YORE ARRPLANE. IVE BIN SETTIN OUT ONTO THE BACK STOOP FOR HOURS ON END FIGGERIN THIS THING OUT AND WATCHIN ALL THE BIRRDS AKIN TO THIS COUNTRY REEL CAREFUL-LIKE. IVE WATCHED THEM WHEN THEY DIDENT KNOW I WAS WATCHIN THEM AND THIS INKLOODS WRENS, SPARRERS, JAYBIRDS, HAWKS, DOVES, CROWS AND WODDY PECKERS. MY ADDVICE TO YOU MR. MAC ARTY IF FOR YOU TO TELL THEM BIG SMART ENJINEERS UP TO YOUR PLACE TO SPEND MORE TIME OUTSIDE DOIN JIST WHAY IVE BIN DOIN CAUSE IT WONT TAKE ANY GODDAM FOOL LONG TO SEE THET THEM BIRDS WOULD JIST AS LIKELY BUST THEIR ASS TOO IF SOME IDIOT HAD STUCK THEIR WINGS ON UPSIDE DOWN, TOO.
INDIGENTLY.
CALEB FLERK
< Message edited by redskyhawk -- 1/1/2013 7:57 PM >
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