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All Forums >> Radios, Batteries, Clubhouse and more >> RC Humor >> Airline Humor
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Airline Humor - 11/30/2006 2:20:11 PM   
bdholsin


 

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Sanford, MI, USA
Status: offline 		This was sent to me a LONG time ago and I wanted to share it with everyone....


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.
By the way, QANTAS is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P Stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log.
S Stands for the corrective action taken by the service mechanics.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (Note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

       Post #: 1

RE: Airline Humor - 12/1/2006 2:13:39 AM   
Super_Dave


 

Posts: 1994
Joined: 5/26/2005
From: Barboursville, VA, USA
Status: offline 		Haha those are great. Sounds like some mechanics I would like to meet .

(in reply to bdholsin)
       Post #: 2

RE: Airline Humor - 12/4/2006 3:48:02 AM   
crwtar


 

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: Hong Kong, HONG KONG
Status: offline 		[image][/image]

Attachments
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(in reply to Super_Dave)
       Post #: 3

RE: Airline Humor - 12/4/2006 5:30:56 AM   
125cchyperman


 

Posts: 2586
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Manheim , PA, USA
Status: offline 		HAHA those are pretty good.


I like the

P:Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: EVIDENCE REMOVED

that one is totally awesome.

_____________________________

Go eat a grape there cowboy

(in reply to crwtar)
       Post #: 4

RE: Airline Humor - 12/6/2006 5:44:09 PM   
crasharama



Posts: 579
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Mt Coolum QLD, AUSTRALIA
Status: offline 		Hi crwtar,

VH-OJH sitting there in Bangkok, was classed as an incident, as the hull wasn't written off, it was rebuilt & is still flying today. But that is about as close to an accident as you want to be in

Tony.

_____________________________

www.coolumflyers.com
Revver Brother 116

(in reply to crwtar)
       Post #: 5

RE: Airline Humor - 1/4/2007 8:48:28 PM   
davewallace


 

Posts: 1402
Joined: 1/15/2005
From: San Antonio, TX, USA
Status: offline 		Crash,
There only two kinds of airlines in the world. Those that have had an accident and those that aren't big enough to admit it.

Dave

_____________________________

Every day above ground is a good day.

(in reply to crasharama)
       Post #: 6

RE: Airline Humor - 10/16/2007 2:21:36 AM   
farr301


 

Posts: 124
Joined: 8/11/2007
From: Allen, TX, USA
Status: offline 		My dad showed me those not too long ago....HILARIOUS......

Farr301

(in reply to davewallace)
       Post #: 7

RE: Airline Humor - 10/18/2007 11:33:42 PM   
bucky242


 

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: Fond du Lac, WI, USA
Status: offline 		more!!! even though i don't understand what iff is its still funny

(in reply to farr301)
       Post #: 8

RE: Airline Humor - 10/26/2007 12:51:00 AM   
weathervane



Posts: 1243
Joined: 6/8/2006
From: Baltimore, MD, USA
Status: offline 		It made my day.

_____________________________

Without trucks, America stops.
www.freestateaeromodelers.org

(in reply to bucky242)
       Post #: 9

RE: Airline Humor - 10/27/2007 4:52:09 AM   
Jim_Purcha



Posts: 1024
Joined: 9/18/2003
From: La Salle, MB, CANADA
Status: offline 		There was a barber who was friendly and liked to talk with his customers. One day a customer walks in, he seats down for a haircut. The barber asks "What do you do for a living?". The person replied "I'm a florist". The barber replies "That's nice. You make nice flowers for people to give each other. It make everyone happy! The haircut is on the house.". Next day the barber finds a bouquet of flowers from the customer delivered to his door.

Same day, he chats with another customer. "What do you do for a living?". "I'm a chef" the customer replies. "That's nice. You cook good food for celebrations. Everyone is happy. You know, the haircut is on the house!". Next day, the barber finds a letter with an invitation to the restaurant.

Couple days later, barber asks another customer "What do you do for a living?". The man replies "i'm an airline pilot". "Hey that's nice. You fly people from one end of the country to another. You make people happy. The haircut is on the house". The next day what does the barber find when he gets to his store.......... A line up of 20 airline pilots waiting for a free haircut.

(in reply to strike eagle)
       Post #: 10

RE: Airline Humor - 10/28/2007 2:30:15 PM   
nitro _ burner



Posts: 1824
Joined: 1/18/2007
From: adelaide, AUSTRALIA
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: bdholsin
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

HAHAHA BEST 3!!!!!!!! LMAO!!

_____________________________

RC''s: BL Mini B, Micro B, BL RC18T, CEN ME16MT and an LST2!!!

(in reply to bdholsin)
       Post #: 11

RE: Airline Humor - 10/29/2007 12:45:34 PM   
ALO 111


 

Posts: 142
Joined: 10/4/2007
From: BLOEMFONTEIN, SOUTH AFRICA
Status: offline 		I SERVED WITH THE SOUTH AFRICAN AIRFORCE FOR 12 YEARS AND THE STORIES ARE TO MANY TO TELL,
ONE THAT COMES TO MIND .
JET FIGHTER PILOTS ARE KNOWN TO BE FAST THINKERS AND MAYBE WITH REASON A BIT PROUD.
I FLEW WITH THE ALOUETTE 3 HELI SQUADREN AND THIS CAME OVER THE RADIO.
TWO MIRAGE JETS WHERE FLYING IN THE DIRECT PATH OF AN ONCOMING 747 AND THERE WAS A BIT OF A MIX UP WITH THE ATC WHO WAS NOT SURE AT WHAT ALT,THEY WHERE FLYING.
THE MIRAGE PILOTS CAME OVER THE RADIO SAYING THAT THEY WHERE AT HIGH ALTITUDE I CANT REMEMBER MAYBE 20000 FT SO THE 747 PILOTS SMIRKING SAYS " WHAT YOU DOING DOWN THERE LITTLE BUDDIES?" AS HE WAS MUCH HIGHER.
JET PILOT COMES BACK WITH " I AM AT MACH 2.2 HOW ABOUT YOU?"
RADIO SILIENCE>>>>>

(in reply to nitro _ burner)
       Post #: 12

RE: Airline Humor - 11/1/2007 7:42:10 PM   
bucky242


 

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: Fond du Lac, WI, USA
Status: offline 		I've got two from a friend that works at eaa (oshkosh i live 17 miles south)

While taxiing out in sequence behind a Lufthansa airliner at Frankfurt, a C-130 crew noticed an orange "Remove before flight" streamer hanging out of the Lufthansa nose wheel well (their nose gear locking pin was still installed). Not wanting to cause too much embarrassment by going thru the controller, the 130 crew simply called the Lufthansa aircraft on the tower frequency: "Lufthansa aircraft, Herky 23." No reply.

They repeated the transmission and again there was no reply. Instead, the Lufthansa pilot called the tower and asked the tower to tell the Herky crew that "the professional pilots of Lufthansa do not engage in unprofessional conversations over the radio."

The 130 pilot quickly replied, "Frankfurt tower, can you please relay to the professional pilots of the Lufthansa aircraft that their nose gear pin is still installed?"

While taxiing out for takeoff, the Boeing 727 suddenly came to a stop. With the aircraft still on the taxiway, the flight attendant in the back began to lower the aft stairway. Behind the plane, a van with flashing lights came to a screeching halt and out jumped three deadheading pilots (a pilot riding a long to get to a different airport from there hub). They grabbed their bags and ran to the plane.

As they ran up the stairs, the pilot in front continued running up the aisle shouting, "I can't believe the stewardess got the plane this far. I didn't know she even knew how to start the engines!"

For a number of passengers it took quite some time before they realized they had been had by these jokers, you couldn't believe the startled looks on their faces!

(in reply to ALO 111)
       Post #: 13

RE: Airline Humor - 11/16/2007 11:38:20 PM   
abelard


 

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/13/2007
From: Aurora, CO, USA
Status: offline 		One more:

P: #3 prop leaking oil.
S: Leakage is normal.
P: #1, 2 and 4 props lack normal leakage.

rj

(in reply to bdholsin)
       Post #: 14