FreakyDude

A Joke is a very serious thing - Winston Churchill

SyCo_VeNoM

"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." Red from the Red Green show

tommygun32

Don't take my kindness for a sing of weakness - unknown

If you want something you never had, then you need to do something you've never done - unknown

eddieC

My Feedback: (2)

What's the difference between the man who's good, and the man who's lucky?

You can beat the man who's good...

[8D]  

The_Shark

One man's trash is another man's treasure.
same goes for one man's treasure is another man's trash

OldFart1

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Now, are you sure you want to have a fight? Because I'm only gonna use my thumb.
Bully in Bar: Thumb?
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: My right thumb. Left one's much too powerful for you.

tommygun32

Love it!!

Tjettzky

If it is supposed to move but doesn't, use WD40. If it is moving but isn't supposed to, Duct Tape! - various mechanics

It's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. - my old mentor

Never leave evidence. - my old mentor

You don't score on 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

About 70% of quotes you read on the internet are fake. - Winston Churchill

Always know where your towel is. - Douglas Adams

"Anything for a fellow Marine."..."Ok! Semper Fudge!"..."Did you just say 'Semper Fudge'?..."No, I said the right thing!" - Homer Simpson and retired Marine pilot.

DaveG55

There are no stupid questions, there are, however, a LOT if inquisitive idiots...

OldFart1

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country

OldFart1

Well, you listen good, Skank. I know it's gonna be hard with your melon on chemical overload, but there's a killer out there and I'm gonna track the hairball down. So, when you two crater-heads get finished mining for nose gold and you get a relapse of memory, you let me know, huh? I'm just a phone call away

sparky 25

Where ever you go never take a smart ass with you, there'll be one when you get there!

I'm not a gynecologist but il take a look!

airborne2.4

Passion and purpose are partners, - Bishop TD Jakes

-SomeGuy-

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy? Or are you gonna bite." -Mr. Blonde

airborne2.4

If God is your co-pilot, you are in the wrong seat.

airborne2.4

Where the mind goes the man follows. - Joyce Meyer

tommygun32

If you always baby your kids, your kids will always be babies - me (as far as I'm aware, just thought of it during an argument with the wife)

tomfiorentino

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
When you use a sharp tool, it's easier to be careful than to stop the bleeding.
Hay balers do the same thing wether it is hay, ground hogs or your arm.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
There are three rings of marriage. The engagement ring. The wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.
A little more paw and a little less jaw.
Never enough time to do it right but always enough time to do it over again.
You're so old you still owe Moses money.
Quit eating out of someone else's cupboard.
Every cat in the barn is related.


About 1/3 of what I have collected in my tickler file at work. Unknown authors, old boses...some of it stuff that just came to us in meetings...like this one:

We are just going to have to get int he room together and say...OK...the first one that farts I'm out of here...

Have fun with it!

Tom

yakfish

My Feedback: (27)

Failure is no more Fatal than success is Permanent

arless

I was born on a mountain and raised by the bears, I got two sets of teeth and a coat of triple hair, I got a cast iron belly and a blue steel rod. if your looking for trouble I'm the man to see, If you feel like rolling the dice then come with it cause  I'm as cool as a bug on ice, one of us is gonna sacrifice. When your ready to roll the dice, it will be you who has to sacrifice, cause I know I'm gonna win...I'm as cool as a bug on ice, check me and see! you will sacrifice, cause I'll be rolling the dice, I'm as cool as a bug on ice.

The_Shark

hmm. thinking about these lyrics today;

There's somethin' wrong with the world today
I don't know what it is
Something's wrong with our eyes.....

We're seein' things in a different way
And God knows it ain't his

airborne2.4

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." -Zig Ziglar

"To lead the people, walk behind them." -Lao Tzu

"They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." -Theodore Roosevelt

"If you want to know why your people are not performing well, step up to the mirror and take a peek." -Ken Blanchard

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced." -James Baldwin

"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency." -Arnold H. Glasgow

"Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things." -Peter Drucker

"Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality." -Warren G. Bennis

airborne2.4

''You cannot be a success and a recluse at the same time'' - Jack White