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Old 05-22-2012, 08:54 PM
  #1
yakfish
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Default Post your favorite quotes

What are some of your favorite quotes? And who said them?

Here are a couple of mine:

Never give in, never give in, never never never.
Winston Churchill

I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight for your right to say it.
Don't remember who it was that said this but it is one of my favorites
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Old 05-22-2012, 10:29 PM
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absolute power corrupts absolutely -don't know who
absence of proof does not mean proof of absence - don't know who
reality is only a illusion -Einstein
the ones we wish could hear us have heard it all before- Neil Peart

i'm too tired to remember any more, as you can see I also write my own.
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:10 PM
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You're not paranoid if they ARE out to get you. - Foxy

Be entirely tolerant or not at all, follow the good path or the evil one. To stand at the crossroads requires more strength than you possess. - Henrich Heine

"Mr Churchill, you are DRUNK!"
"Indeed my lady, but you are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be sober." - Winston Churchill in British Parliament during the Second World War.

And of course the classic...Kurt Vonnegut's MIT Acceptance speech...attributed to Kurt Vonnegut incorrectly (this quote has a double meaing on top of all the messages within, that you should not believe what you read on the internet. While being a great piece, it was not written or delivered by Kurt Vonnegut, rather by a relatively unknown journalist named Mary Schmich).

Quote:
Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."
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Old 05-23-2012, 02:21 AM
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If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything - unknown
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Old 05-23-2012, 04:03 AM
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"Hold on loosely, but don't let go"- 38 Special.

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Old 05-23-2012, 05:29 AM
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"I reject your reality, and substitute my own. "
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Old 05-23-2012, 05:48 AM
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From the "Hitchhiker's Guide" books:

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"The Guide says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:02 AM
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"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:15 AM
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"If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so"

-Thomas Jefferson
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:17 AM
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If the world did'nt suck, we would all float into space.
you can want in one hand and ______ in another, which will fill up faster.

when i die I want to be buried face down, that way if you don't like me, you can kiss my AS$- red foreman (70's show)
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
ORIGINAL: Lunchboxer

''I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.''
Game over, man! GAME OVER!!

(Aliens was an awesome movie).
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Old 05-23-2012, 08:54 AM
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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
Comedian Steven Wright

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Don't remember who said it

The future ain't what it used to be
When you come to a fork in the road....Take it
Yogi Berra

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
Winston Churchill
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Old 05-23-2012, 09:37 AM
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Pain is good for you. Extreme pain is extremely good for you. - USMC (Semper Fi)
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:08 AM
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"It's time to kick as$ and chew bubble gum, and i'm all out of bubble gum"- Duke Nukem lol
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:09 AM
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there are no stupid questions, only stupid people.
....and you ask yourself; do I feel lucky? well do ya'..... punk? -dirty harry
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift-Alice M. Earle
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
ORIGINAL: cumminspower5.9

''It's time to kick as$ and chew bubble gum, and i'm all out of bubble gum''- Duke Nukem lol
Originally said (in a very similar fashion) in the 1988 movie They Live, starring professional wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper - predating the Duke Nukem quote.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/im-her...chew-bubblegum

Great, great quote.
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:20 AM
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i miss my ex-husband but my aim,s improving...guess who said that
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:21 AM
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"of all the things i've lost i miss my mind the most" - mark twain
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:24 AM
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A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:45 AM
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"When i die I want to be buried face down, so my friends will have a place to park their bikes."  -  Unk

The Queen vs. Churchill:
"Sir, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee."
"Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Great thread!!

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Old 05-23-2012, 10:46 AM
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OldFart,

MIB.
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:53 AM
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eddieC - Correct!

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:00 AM
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A Fish Named Wanda?
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:05 AM
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Quote:
ORIGINAL: OldFart1

eddieC - Correct!

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Dr. Evil
Austin Powers I, (International Man of Mystery)
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
ORIGINAL: Eman77

From the ''Hitchhiker's Guide'' books:

''The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.''

''In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.''

''The Guide says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.''
I always enjoyed the "Looks like a fish. (Gleams?) like a fish. Steers like a cow."

"All I ask is an honest week's pay for an honest day's work." - Sgt. Bilko
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