So Cal

I was never into poetry at all. But in lit class we have had to wright some. I think im kida good at it. I mean everything takes practice and skill. But Let me know what you think. The first one is just a random one i wrote about my volkswagen.

My car is ugly and thats the truth
flat black paint and a gloss white roof
When i hit speed bumps the beam scrapes the ground
Honestly, its a horrid sound
The carb wont idle
but shes got a clean tittle
the exhuast system leaks
and the suspentions got squeaks

I know its not fine
but shes a hundred percent mine
My tires rub the fenders
and when i race i usually surrender
its got O.G glass
but it dont haul ass
runin a straight header
man i wish it ran better

German eagle on the door
with a four speed on the floor
its loud and slow
that is the tempo
potholes hit the pan
and criusin is the plan
bondo'ed up doors
that no one adores

even has a popup sunroof
my car is ugly and thats the truth

And this one i wrote today. Has some meaning behind it. But i just wrote it down in a few minuets.

While im around you I get butterflies,
But when you smile, that feeling will demise.
Every time that I see you,
My mood will arise.

But now im introuble,
All because of you,
all day there I sit,
While I daydream of you.

I wish to be in your presence,
all day and all night.
But will you say yes?
I hope you just might.

I will ask you soon,
But like I just said,
I am quite nervous.
Only these moments i dont dread.

This one is one i wrote for my lit class about Friends.

When your down,
They bring you smiles.
Your truck breaks gets a flat,
They'll walk that ten miles.

Theyre someone to talk to,
When nobody is around.
They've got your back,
when the fights about to go down.

You loose your job,
And you cant pay your rent,
They got an extra room,
So you dont have to live in that tent.

They are like family to you,
And will do anything to make you smile.
Their there till the end,
Even if its a long, long, while.


So lets hear what you gus have written.

annie_himself

The AB rhyme scheme is 3rd grade, no offense. Also, stanzas aren't needed. It seems like you broke them up just because you see writers do it.

Your not bad though, hope you get better and this thread survives..

This is an epitaph from an anthology for writing seminar class:

cmerritt

with the AB scheme and stanzas it sounds more like a rap haha

So Cal

Thanks for the tip. I take no offense because i have no clue about poetry. Pretty much my teacher said "wright poems" And that was it. I figure if i read alot of poetry and stuff i could get better. And the thing is i used to hate poetry, but i guess im a little more open minded now.

C'mon, i know more people wright poetry.
Post 'em up!!

HJJFFFAA

LOL. "Wright". It's spelled write, dude.

"..it's my moms"

Cool this guy has multiple mothers.

annie_himself

Ha, thats how yall yanks say mom. I like the way it sounds. I say it now.

So Cal

Yeah i know, my spelling sucks. But at least the wrong word was spelled correct.......