Johnny_Zero

My Feedback: (44)

Totally the wrong place for this!

THERCAV8R

My Feedback: (283)

The best description i have ever heard or read is Having children is like digging a hole in your back yard 25 feet across and 50 feet deep and then every day throw the money you want to into into it and then throw throw rest of the money you can get your hands on in there as well. Then in 20 years or so you realise that it doesn't cover the bottom of the hole. I have two sons grown and have spent the last 28 years trying to make that a wrong statment but it is true. However it was said to me in a negaative way but as far as I am concerned it is worth every penny i have thrown in there and still make a donation when needed. Only one regret is I didn't have more money to fill up the hole. As far as knowing when to have a kid it is when she says I am expecting a baby. To be fair we did plan both of ours but if you think you are ready you are kidding yourself. It is the greatist ride in life.

KFX450

My Feedback: (30)

Nobody subpoenaed you here..let alone post ..don't read it

flyntruk

My Feedback: (5)

   Well try this for a parenthood test ... If you can go deer hunting and get blood and guts up to your elbows , but you gag and retch  when you clean up cat puke , you;re not ready to be a parent ...

eddieC

My Feedback: (2)

Kids are great, but...,

What could this possibly have to do with RC??  You, or the mods, should move it to one of the off-topic forums. That's what they're there for.

  

RC MANIAC119

My Feedback: (14)

A few thoughts from an EXPERT!!! Married 4 times, and have raised 7 Step Children, PLUS 2 of my own............

Make sure you have the right woman first..........that is the very hardest hurdle!! The kids come easy after that....


If she is the right one, you won't have any doubt's, and won't have to ask a bunch of strangers on a website if it's the right thing to do!!!

rcmichael

My Feedback: (21)

Are you REALLY asking marital advice on a RC hobby site? Please go talk to someone with credentials that may be able to help you!

brenthampton79

My wife and I just had our first child 4 months ago. We weren't sure when we got married if we wanted kids or not for sure. One reason at the time was my carreer as a charter pilot and the hope of flying for the airlines or a corporate gig. Another was that she was an elementary teacher so she had plenty of kids to play with and scare her away at the same time. Well before we even
got married I could tell I was already not liking the idea of being gone from her all the time, so my brother and I ended up
Going into the cropduster business that my dad had dabbled in as a part time job/hobby, however we wanted to make it our livelihood. I liked the idea of being at home every night with my wife. Well we then started to both agree we wanted atleast one little one them but the business wasn't ready for that responsibility nor were we yet really. Well about three years later things were going great, finally bought a new home and we wre ready so we thought then she lost her job then we decided to hold off one more year, then it all the sudden hit me we weren't getting any younger and there wasn't ever going to be a perfect time so to say. Well we tried for a year and finally(there's an app for that) she's prego, then the very next month my father and I have a mid air with the sprayers last year on April 18th and I nearly die, but on that ride down all I could think was I had to survive somehow to be there for her and my little one on the way. I fought the 802 all the way to the scene of the impact never giving up allowing me to type this message. Im telling you this story so you know my situation and my trials and tribulations and with all those the only two things I feel like I almost missed the most was my wife and my son Emersen. You won't know how important your child is until you have one. My feelings for that little man are beyond my comprehension and didn't even realize till the day he made his arrival. In my opinion now as a new dad I wish I would've done it sooner and we coulda had more as my wifes clock is also ticking and that only leaves time really for one more. You have no idea until ones on the way. I think you will know whether you want one or not is if you are with the right woman as several Have stated. And as far as when will be when you figure out stuff is just stuff. I've been blessed to have had learn that first hand. I've accumulated several RCs and after I get the last one I'm always looking for the next therefore learning the next won't make me any happier. When my brother and I got started I learned a valuable lesson from the guy we leased to buy our first 502 from "the more stuff you have the more it owns you" so your material things can "own" you as much as a kid can.
Sorry for being so long winded, hope that this helps

Hossfly

This is, IMO, about as great of a thread as any in this entire RCF forums. There may may well be more good information here than any Build-along or such as exists in any forum. Family life has more to do with a person than one can imagine until one becomes totally involved in it. So with that I think these little items definitely have a great amount of influence on our lifestyle especially in the personal time activities especially the time consuming sport known as Aeromodeling.
Married 1956 age 20. Kids of my own: 3 kids born 1957, '58 and '59. Divorced at 25 yeqrs. Married again. 2 step children, now in 40s each with 1 child.
9 grandchildren from age 8 to 27, 1 great grandson, age 6 Mo. Scattered over the country and don't see many of them except one step granddaughter and she is here much of the time. When she sees me and runs to me with a big hug and sayin PaPa, PaPa, aeromodeling takes second place.
Only regret is one grandson that at 14 he was flying everything I have/had. Now at 19 in TX A&M, he doesn't fly anymore. You see he caught that dreadful, G and G desease commonly called Gas and Girls. No time for Grand Pa right now but on the shelf is the Birthday Card he sent me last month. The elder fellow is waking down the boardwalk with a toddler walking along Hand in Hand and it says "Buddies then....Now....and Always." I have a picture of his older sister in front of me. Just commissioned as a Naval Ensign 2 months ago.
All 3 of my kids are well educated, far better than me, and so are and will be all my grandchildren. Fellows, no matter your love for self and hobbies it just doesn't get better than this.
Too late to spell check so bear with the bad items.

Granpooba

My Feedback: (5)

Keep it in your knickers !

Just give some deep thought about how this world is changing and then ask yourself the question. Do I really want to bring children into this world ? Most level headed people that I know these days are saying NO ! [&o]

airborne2.4

Dido

jefflangton

My Feedback: (23)

Do the world a favor and keep it in your pants.

hemiflyer1

My Feedback: (2)

They'll be grown before you know it, and then you'll want a redo. Now I fly with my youngest (he'll be 21 in May).

Thisstrangeengine

She'll want a girl, you'll want a boy, the next thing you know one of you wants another in hopes it's that boy or girl etc. then you'll have more kids than you have the patience for.
I have 2 grown kids, 2 grandkids and am in my second marriage with a 4 year old @ 50! Now my son shares my passion for all things that fly and I LOVE him to death!!! He uses my flight simulator all the time ALL BY HIMSELF, from turning on the computer to navigating the menus and switches on the transmitter. It's fun to watch...
I was a single dad for a while taking care of my first 2 kids by myself so the hobby and everything else stopped. A tough time in my life for sure.

rgburrill

You have made it very clear that you should get out of your relationship! Staying and having kids wouldn't be fair to anyone!

Just my opinion.

cloudancer03

My Feedback: (22)

okay!!! glad everyone had a say but this is not the Dr.Phil advice column. it sounds mean but this about rc not dear abby..ok moderator shut it down!

jester_s1

Not true at all. There is a grain of truth here that motherhood changes a woman. She now has a new responsibility in life beyond her husband and her job. That's how it should be. The new arrival should also change a man for the same reasons, but when it doesn't that's when the problems start. Many of our wives tolerate inconsiderate behavior from us when it's just the two of us because they can live with it. But when it comes time to provide a good home for a child, the standards change. It's not that they go nuts and get demanding, it's that they get pushy about the behavior that we men should have been exhibiting all along but they've been tolerating. Children do not kill marriages, but they do make weaknesses in the relationship a lot more obvious.

For my story, I was 33 when my wife and I had our daughter. She's 3 now and life has definitely changed. We don't go out much anymore or socialize like we used to, we don't have as much money to spend on ourselves, and I personally don't have as much hobby time as I used to or would like. However, when I became a father, all those things dropped in importance dramatically as they were replaced with doing the Dad thing. I read books to her, play games with her, take her to the playground, clean up after her, and all the little tasks that parents have to do. And I wouldn't trade it for a daily trip to the flying field ever. I still do the hobby on a more limited basis, and my wife is generous enough to tolerate it within reason.

On a broader note, I see a crisis of manhood in our society. A man is about his work and responsibilities, while a boy is about playing and having a great time. All of us in this hobby have at least some little boy left in us, otherwise we'd be reading forums about stock prices or something job related. Our wives accept this about us and some even appreciate it, but to let our little boy passions take precedent over our manly duties is dysfunctional. Garcfield, if you decide to go ahead and have kids I think you'll find that you life will adjust to them just fine if you have your priorities in place. You will have to give up some hobby time and may have to drop a hobby altogether, but you won't mind. My very girly daughter flies on the simulator and loves to go to the hobby shop, so you can bet that the kids will incorporate your loves into their lives also. Practice it in moderation and you'll do fine.

DanMN

ga, Please don't make your final decision on having kids or getting married from advice you received on an internet forum. You must have people you know and trust that could give you advice on this and can talk to you face to face. I have yet to meet anyone of these people on this forum. I trust most of them with RC information, but I sure wouldn't ask them for advice on life changing decisions. This goes for any internet forum.

jimbrock

My Feedback: (1)

A bit of advice from an octogenarian: All your current interests and pleasures will fade with time. My dad told me that the best years of miy life would be when the children were young. He was right. And the love and affection from your children (my youngest suriving child is now over 50 years old) will be the most important things in your old age. Have children soon and often! <g>

jimbrock

My Feedback: (1)

PS. I still like RC modeling. Am trying to get my Saito 90 running again so I can test fly my Albatros. BTW, "surviving".

CK1

My Feedback: (60)

To the original poster ,
Hobbies , girlfriends and wives can come and go . Kids are yours for a lifetime . I gave up my hobbies when my kids were born and 8 years later I gave up there mother, and I kept the kids .
My kids always came first as children and still do as adults . I have squeezed in some time for hobbies as they were getting older an somewhat less demanding of my time . I have remarried to the most wonderful woman in the world , she understands my need for a hobby and she also knows that she and my kids come first in line ahead of the hobbies.
My point is that unless your are willing to sacrifice everything to have kids you are not ready for them . If you have to ask how to tell if you are ready then you are not in fact ready .
Deciding to have kids requires a life long commitment to them .
I am not a deeply religious man and don't know your religious preference but perhaps consulting with clergy might be helpful .

rgburrill

Really, the worst reason in the world to have kids is because time is running out!  That makes kids a status symbol or something.  If that is where you girl is comming from then get out now while you still have b___s.

LGM Graphix

My Feedback: (22)

Reading through all these replies, there are some good, some bad, and some that are just ignorant (who cares if he's asked this in the clubhouse forum, he's asking a group of his peers a life question, big deal, if you don't like it go somewhere else).

My answer for you sounds really vague, sounds like I'm beating around the bush but......

When you're ready, you'll know.
There are two things that have to happen first, and the first one is the hardest, though some people will argue it....

1. You must be completely happy, secure, and confident in YOURSELF. You can't be questioning your choices. That doesn't mean you won't make the wrong choices in life, but it means when you make a decision, you can't start questioning it, if you are, you shouldn't act on it. Many people THINK that they are happy and secure with themselves, but in reality, very very few people are. Especially men, we want to put on this tough guy exterior and walk around like we're all that, but usually those who seems the most secure are the least.
You cannot and will not even have a successful marriage/relationship with anyone until you can honestly say that you are happy and secure in yourself.

2. You must be completely happy, secure, and confident in your PARTNER!!!! Again, you cannot have this unless you have number 1. If you do not have 100% trust in your partner, if you EVER make comments to yourself like "is this the right choice, should I be here" etc, then it will fail. You must have confidence and trust in your partner if you are to have faith in your relationship together.

If you do not have those 2 things, then chances are very good you aren't ready to have a child. These days many people rush into relationships, marriage, living together, etc. They do it because it "seems like the thing to do" when in fact, it may be a very poor idea. I bounced from bad relationship to bad relationship before I met my wife. Funny thing is, remember how I said, when you're ready you'll know? I absolutely did. However, at that point, I had hit rock bottom, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would not meet the right person, and that is what directed me into confidence and faith in myself. My problem before that was that I wasn't totally happy with myself and I was looking for somebody to "complete me". As somebody else mentioned, you cannot have somebody to "complete you". You must be complete before you love somebody and that person is there so that you two can shine together.
When I met my wife, I KNEW it was right. I also promised MYSELF that I would never lie to her, I would never keep things from her, right from day one I was myself, I was honest, and you know what, we have never had a real fight in 7 years now.

So, what the hell does all this mean? Does it mean you have to feel secure and confident in life? Well, yes and no, you never know what will happen in life, and while I say that I am happy with myself, that doesn't mean that everything in life is perfect or great. I'd love to make more money, I'd love to have more time off, I'd love if my teenage stepson (yes, I married into one of those, I'll get to that in a minute) was easier to deal with. But because I have confidence in myself, and because I have total faith and trust in my wife, we together can get through the difficult times.

So, back to the stepson......

I never wanted children, had no desires for kids. But when I met my wife I knew of course that she had a son, he was 7 at the time. But again, I KNEW that she was the right one for me, and that gave me the confidence I needed to also accept a child into my life to raise together with her. It's had it's great moments, and it's had it's rough moments. But it's an experience I wouldn't change for anything.

Again, the important thing is, I knew, I really did, I just KNEW it was the right decision. It was a decision I could make without any questions. It was a decision where I didn't have to weigh pro's and con's.


Nobody can answer your question but you, reading your post, I would say you are not ready. Particularly when you are setting a timeline, 2 years, 10 years, whatever it is, why is there a timeline? Why are you putting restrictions on it?
As far as finances, career, hobbies, etc, there is never a good time to have a child, and there is never a better time to have a child, just like so many things in life. When you KNOW it is the right choice, it will be the right time.

Good luck.

Jetdesign

My Feedback: (8)

...2 years to ensure no complications on her end. Apparently there is risk after 35.

Thanks for all the comments. Obviously I will make my own choices, but there really are some gems here worth considering.

I am in a new state with a new job and a new-ish partner, so as sorry as it sounds, some of the people who know me best are at the field and in these forums. I talk, joke, laugh, advise, and moan and groan with you all, so I am comfortable sharing and listening here.

oliveDrab

This topic does not belong on RC Universe - not interested in the details of your personal life. However................do u have one or more really hot single, available, female relatives? Must like bald men.