El Pirata

OK I see.

randall1959

My Feedback: (11)

I saw this happen when I was a kid. There was a crop duster pilot that lived in the area and he had one of those small, kinda flimsy, fabric covered crop dusters. When the wind was high he'd sometimes steer it into the wind and just sit there, when the plane was empty.
Well, one day he was showing off near my town and the wind sorta stopped blowing [X(]
He didn't know he was sitting right over some powerlines and the plane settled down right onto one of them and hooked the gear. I guess he had a real hard time explaining that to his insurance agent, because he didn't fly anymore after that.........He was an accident looking for a place to happen. Just the year before he ripped one wing off from flying too close to trees at the end of the field.

vicman

My Feedback: (10)

Wow! Ta, I didn't ever intend this to go there![X(][:'(]

TOPGUNNER

here ya go randall

oops..

âûñøåå îäíî

You would be supprised how strong those little fabric covered crop dusters are....

simpleton

Overheard while awaiting take-off clearance: The controller was very busy at large airport. He had just cleared a Piper Cherokee to land ahead of a jumbo jet. "Cherokee 56Alpha, please expedite your approach. United heavy flight 123 please slow to 160 kts." After about a minute, the controller said "United heavy flight 123 please slow to 140 kts." Seeing the poor guy in the cherokee was still on his way to the runway, and the jumbo was gaining on him pretty good, he said " United heavy flight 123 please slow to 120 kts." The captain of the jumbo came back "Son, do you know what the stalling speed of this aircraft is?" The controller shot right back "No, but you could ask your co-pilot, I'm sure he knows."

Jimmbbo

In cruise at FL 370, the following exchange occurs on a UAL 747:

ATC: United 243 Heavy, turn right 20 degrees.

UA 243: Uhh. What's the vector for, Center?

ATC: United 243 Heavy, now turn right 30 degrees for noise abatement.

UA 243: Center, just how can we be a noise problem at 37000 feet?

ATC: Skipper, do you know how much noise your 747 makes when it hits a DC10? Turn right 40 degrees now, if you please.

CP140

Heard on the intercom after a long boring transit flight(ie fly from one place to another instead of an operational "look for things" flight) just as the aircraft starts the descent from cruise altittude...

Pilot: "Nav, wake the sleepers, we're going down."
10 second pause...
Nav: "Uhhh, confirm we're in the descent... 'cause you've got 10 guys crying back here now!"


And again on the intercom,

Pilot: "Nav, what time is it?"

Nav: "In five seconds it will be 13:41 Zulu... three, two, one, HACK!, 13:41 Zulu"

Pilot: "Um, thanks... but I just wanted to know, is it time for lunch yet?"


On another flight, middle of the night out over the North Atlantic working a contact near a destroyer, there is a thump and the aircraft yaws to one side as the lookout on the port side calls on the intercom, "HOLY ****, TORCHING, NUMBER 2". This is followed quickly by the pilots and flight eng going through the engine shut down checklist in response to the alarms going off in the cockpit. The nav transmits a Mayday message which is received and acknowledged by the destroyer. Shortly thereafter the destroyer calls up and asks, "What is your position relative to the ship". As the nav is keying his mike to respond, the crew member sitting beside him leans over and yells, "TELL THE ******* TO LOOK FOR THE ******* FIREBALL"... which unfortunately is transmitted to the destroyer below.
(pause)
Destroyer:" Uh roger, we have you in sight!"



Another intercom exchange:

Pilot:"Nav, am I right of track or left of track?"

Nav:"That depends..."

Pilot:"What do you mean that depends?"

Nav:"Are you in the left seat or the right seat?"



On a training flight, again out over the North Atlantic.

The student nav while completing his hourly checks, inadvertently turns both INS's to "OFF" at the same time. This is quickly followed by the pilots asking "What the %^$% just happened?!?!" as their artificial horizons both "barber pole" at the same time and they loose all steering and attitude information"

Instructor navigator: "Pilot, y'see the standby compass in front of you?"

Pilot:"Yeah, I see it"

Instructor:"Find the big W.... follow the big W...! Radar...we'll be feet dry in about 90 minutes... I'll need a fix as soon as possible to start an inflight alignment of both INS...meanwhile I'll be in the back debriefing my student!"




During a low pass over Loch Ness:

Radar:"CREW! RADAR RISER... ON THE NOSE... 5 MILES" (meaning a suddenly appearing radar contact...usually reserved for submarine periscopes)

Pilot:"Roger, Kill power on, bomb bay doors coming open, speed is good, altitude good, wings level...TAC you're clear to drop!"

tatolazo

When the fairchilds PT-19 arrived to the Chilean Air Force, during the final check flight to the new pilots, the instructor got used to do a pass by low over the field and throw away his stick (that was a sort of pluged into a metal tube base and for this purpouse was used without the a "through" bolt that hold it in place).

My grandfather at that time was transfered from the military school to an air force squad and when he did his test flight that becomes a SOLO flight when the instructor launched the stick, he had a GREAT idea:
He asked to a mechanic to bring him a second stick. Can you imagine by now...?

While doing his pass by the instructor threw away his stick to show that now the new pilot was on his own, the rest of the cadets was looking upward from the field in a very strictly formation......

and in this very precise moment my gran pa also, 22 years old by 1945, launches his stick too..... the poor instructor almost die froma heart attack, you can imagine...two guys in a plane and NO stick to control it!!!!

That was the last military fligh of my grand pa, the he went to a law school and become a lawyer, flying in the civilian local club gipsy moths, Yellow perils and stuff like that. The aerobatics was forbidden for civilians so he had to fly far away from the city to perform a loop or a roll.

By now I have his first pair of googles, made by rayban. they are blue shaded and used them when flew my 80" PT-19 in local scale contest years ago. What a show!!!

Semi Retired Aviator

A female pilot called the tower for the QNH. The tower controller advised 1013.

She then said "Can you give me that in inches" and the response was "29.92" inches"

A male voice was heard.........."Give it to her slowly"

patterndreamer

My Feedback: (1)

back to the 707 story it was a dash 80 that did it i saw the segment on the wings channel.

RC RAC3R

L O L.. ROFL[X(]

Murphey

My Feedback: (11)

These are actual conversations that passengers normally don’t hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers from around the world.

Û

At La Guardia airport in New York: While Taxiing, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
“US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right onto Delta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between your C’s and D’s, but get it right�!
Continuing her tirade to the embarrassed crew, she was shouting hysterically:
“God, you’ve screwed up everything! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that US Air 2771?�
“Yes ma’am,� the humbled crew responded.
Naturally the ground control frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at La Guardia was running high. Then an unknown pilot broke the silence and asked,

“Wasn’t I married to you once?�

Û

The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360…do a complete circle, a move normally used to provide spacing between aircraft. The pilot of the 727 complained,
“Don’t you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 180 in this airplane?�
Without missing a beat, the controller replied,
“Roger, give me four thousand dollars’ worth.�
Û

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high.
San Jose Tower:
“American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.�

Û

It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City.
KC Approach:
“Malibu three-two Charlie, you’re following a 727, one o’clock and three miles.�
Three-Two Charlie:
“We’ve got him. We’ll follow him.�
KC approach:
“Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o’clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?�
Delta 105 (in a thick southern drawl, after a long pause):
“Well, I’ve got something down there, but I can’t tell if it’s a Malibu or a Chevelle.�

Û

Unknown Aircraft:
“I’m f_%#%$ bored!�
Air Traffic Control:
“Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!�
Unknown Aircraft:
“I said I was bored, not stupid!�


Û






Tower:
Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7.�
Eastern 702:
“Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure; By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.�
Tower:
“Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern?�
Continental 635:
“Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger, and yes, we copied Eastern and we’ve already notified our caterers.�

Û


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They do not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign, Speedbird 206:
Speedbird 206:
“Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway.�
Ground:
“Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate.�
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground:
“Speedbird 206, do you know where you are going?�
Speedbird 206:
“Stand by a moment Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.�
Ground (with arrogant impatience):
“Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?�
Speedbird 206 (coolly):
“Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. In another type of Boeing, but just to drop something off. I didn’t stop�.
Û

O’Hare Approach Control:
United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, eastbound.�
United 329:
“Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this. I’ve got that Fokker in sight.�

Û

A Pan Am 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German):
“Ground, what is our start clearance time?�
Ground (in English):
“If you want an answer you must speak in English�.
Lufthansa (in English):
“ I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?�
Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent):
“Because you lost the bloody war.�

TOPGUNNER

^^lol Good Ones!!!!^^

b717doc

As a US Army U-21 (Beech King Air) crew chief in the mid 80's, stationed in Mannheim FRG, We had to deal with new First Lieutenants, and on one day, I had a female lieutenant that actually used the relief tube in the airplane to relieve herself, which is'nt too unusual, except she did a #2, and used her inkpen to stuff it down in there!!!! BELIEVE IT, OR NOT!

b717doc

b717doc

I'm surprised at how strong those powerlines are!!!

Crewguy25

Re: the 707/ Dash-80 story: Yes, it was at the Seattle airshow. Both are right about what the plane was. The Dash-80 was the prototype for the 707.

Re: the photo of the upside-down plane in the power lines: I can't speak for the story that preceded the photo, but that photo was also taken near Seattle, on the west side of Boeing field/ King County Municipal airport, just south of the tower. I wasn't here when it happened, but I currently work in one of the Boeing office buildings right down the road from there. The story is that it was a local dockworker flying in to work, when he was caught up in the wake vortex of a departing 757.

Iturnright

Those are very hilarious!

michpittsman

My Feedback: (11)

A female pilot called the tower and asked, "Doing a radio check, is my transmission fuzzy?" The male controller replied, "I don't know honey, how old are you?"

Cummins

lol, these are great!

nitrofreak06

My Feedback: (17)

that was pretty funny i would scatter too if i saw a pilot doing that on my plane