Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
06-01-2003, 01:27 AM
#53
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Originally posted by vtol_guy
"wow that looks quite expensive *CRASH* ahem, correction, looked, quite expensive"
"wow that looks quite expensive *CRASH* ahem, correction, looked, quite expensive"
06-01-2003, 01:36 AM
#54
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Pilot: Center, this is American Airlines Flight 4352 heavy requesting emergency landing.
Center: Declare the nature of the emergency
Pilot: All engines have flamed out.
Center: Climb to 150 and hold pattern
------------------------OR-----------------------
Pilot: Center, this is American Airlines Flight 4352 heavy requesting emergency landing.
Center: Declare the nature of the emergency
Pilot: Were hosting service to a plane load of hungry cannibles and all we've got are peanuts!
Center: Declare the nature of the emergency
Pilot: All engines have flamed out.
Center: Climb to 150 and hold pattern
------------------------OR-----------------------
Pilot: Center, this is American Airlines Flight 4352 heavy requesting emergency landing.
Center: Declare the nature of the emergency
Pilot: Were hosting service to a plane load of hungry cannibles and all we've got are peanuts!
06-01-2003, 01:48 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
I can fly a lot of things but I cant't fly a fuselage (spelling)
I actually had to say this to a guy after he insited that "his" choice of rubber bands were better than mine for the wing bands (he used office rubber bands and insisted it would hold) I warned him to no avail - he was going to fly with a buddy box or not. He put it in a dive and pulled up and good-bye wing. We all had a good laugh and now he buys the right rubber bands.
I actually had to say this to a guy after he insited that "his" choice of rubber bands were better than mine for the wing bands (he used office rubber bands and insisted it would hold) I warned him to no avail - he was going to fly with a buddy box or not. He put it in a dive and pulled up and good-bye wing. We all had a good laugh and now he buys the right rubber bands.
06-01-2003, 01:56 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
I used office style rubber bands once, #32s. I used twice as many because they were half the size. The hobby store was out and those were the biggest Walmart had. They worked just fine.
06-01-2003, 04:44 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
you mean your supposed to use linkages? *plane flip flops as ailerons, rudder, flaps, throttle, and elevator wave around, crashing through a window, and into a fireplace*
06-01-2003, 10:25 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
As my experienced buddy is trimming my new plane, halfway down the strip in a low inverted pass...
"You *did* install the clunk properly?"
"You *did* install the clunk properly?"
06-01-2003, 10:20 PM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Just after takeoff....your helper walks up, sez "WHAT was that extra bolt for laying on the ground next to your canopy for?"
(Wing retainer bolt from INSIDE of fuse!!!)
Or worse - same helper comes up, sez "Did you see all the gas on the ground under your airplane before you took off???"
(Wing retainer bolt from INSIDE of fuse!!!)
Or worse - same helper comes up, sez "Did you see all the gas on the ground under your airplane before you took off???"
06-02-2003, 04:27 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
True Story about full scale:
Cessna 182
A friend of mine was flying his wife and daughter to Orlando for a Disney vacation. Flying along the Florida coastline around Fort Walton Beach, he had just seen the Airforce base there when with no warning, the engine quit. Well my pal is a flight instructor with about a million hours under his belt, so he calmly took this in stride. He banked left as he tried to raise the base control tower. His wit is almost as sharp as his flying skills. Keep in mind this is after 9/11 and the threshold of the Iraqi war.
I am quoting this from memory, so all the official garb may not be correct, but you get the idea.
Friend: Hurbert field, Hurbert field, this is (ID #), flying heading ### at 3500 requesting emergency landing.
Tower: (ID#) what is your emergency?
Friend: I have engine failure.
Tower: (ID#) you do understand this is a military instulation and unauthorized aircraft landings are a no go?
Friend: Hurbert, I do understand but, you obviously do NOT appreciate my situation, I have engine failure, and other than the Gulf of Mexico, you are my only option.
Tower: Copy that, which engine has failed?
(pause)
Friend: Ah....that would be the one out front, in the middle. Hurbert this is a single engine, private aircraft requesting permission for an emergency landing. ( my pal now getting pissed)
Tower: (ID#) I say again, this is a military instulation and landing of private aircraft is forbidden by -blah blah blah-.
Friend: (now really pissed with runway in sight by now) Hurbert control, I tell you what, you meet me at the end of runway ##, and we can talk about this face to face ok? Because I am touching down in about 60 seconds.
Needles to say my pal touched down nice and safe. Had a few conversations with the base police, and a couple of AF brass, and after they decided he wasn't a terrorist. They actually helped him fix the problem,(minor whatever it was), and he was back on his way.
Its funnier to hear him tell it, but I gave it a shot.
Cessna 182
A friend of mine was flying his wife and daughter to Orlando for a Disney vacation. Flying along the Florida coastline around Fort Walton Beach, he had just seen the Airforce base there when with no warning, the engine quit. Well my pal is a flight instructor with about a million hours under his belt, so he calmly took this in stride. He banked left as he tried to raise the base control tower. His wit is almost as sharp as his flying skills. Keep in mind this is after 9/11 and the threshold of the Iraqi war.
I am quoting this from memory, so all the official garb may not be correct, but you get the idea.
Friend: Hurbert field, Hurbert field, this is (ID #), flying heading ### at 3500 requesting emergency landing.
Tower: (ID#) what is your emergency?
Friend: I have engine failure.
Tower: (ID#) you do understand this is a military instulation and unauthorized aircraft landings are a no go?
Friend: Hurbert, I do understand but, you obviously do NOT appreciate my situation, I have engine failure, and other than the Gulf of Mexico, you are my only option.
Tower: Copy that, which engine has failed?
(pause)
Friend: Ah....that would be the one out front, in the middle. Hurbert this is a single engine, private aircraft requesting permission for an emergency landing. ( my pal now getting pissed)
Tower: (ID#) I say again, this is a military instulation and landing of private aircraft is forbidden by -blah blah blah-.
Friend: (now really pissed with runway in sight by now) Hurbert control, I tell you what, you meet me at the end of runway ##, and we can talk about this face to face ok? Because I am touching down in about 60 seconds.
Needles to say my pal touched down nice and safe. Had a few conversations with the base police, and a couple of AF brass, and after they decided he wasn't a terrorist. They actually helped him fix the problem,(minor whatever it was), and he was back on his way.
Its funnier to hear him tell it, but I gave it a shot.
06-03-2003, 01:29 AM
#65
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Back in 1991 I was on a Delta Flight in Atlanta. Taxing down the runway Just as the front wheel lifted up the Pilot set it back down hard, slammed on the brakes. The Pilot said; Sorry folks a warning light came on just before lift off. I'm calling into maintenance. A few minutes later. The Pilot said; well I've talked to maintenance, he said try it again. I could just see this guy eating a tuna sandwich saying; Oh just try it again...The sad thing about it, we did....Same thing happened. This time the Pilot was pissed. He said; where getting another plane. You just never no.
Sorry for the long story.
(Oh, just try it again)
Sorry for the long story.
(Oh, just try it again)
06-03-2003, 02:06 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
You know, 'bout landing on the Air Force Base, It would be hard to keep terroists from faking an emergency and hurting a lot of people, and not allow deaths by engine failure. I'm really surprised that they didn't force him to land in the water and fish him out, or that they didn't start shooting. This was just after 9/11 right?
06-04-2003, 12:24 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Well they really didn’t have any time react, i.e. scramble any fighter planes, because he was touching down not long after the engine quit, plus I would think that military bases would be low on the list of proposed strike targets for terrorist since crashing a single engine private plane into the middle of a mall or baseball game would be more in line with their "protocol", which calls for the death and destruction of innocent , "Godless infidels" rather than the ones who can fight back.
06-06-2003, 02:28 AM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Hey!? You thing I can pull off flying through those cable and telephone lines?...................AAAAHHHH CRRAAAAP!(Guess not)
06-09-2003, 02:42 PM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
Worlds first automated airplane.
Announcement: You are flying on the world's first fully automatic plane. There is no pilot. There is nothing to worry about because we have plenty of back ups safetys and other precautionary systems to make sure nothing goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong...
Announcement: You are flying on the world's first fully automatic plane. There is no pilot. There is nothing to worry about because we have plenty of back ups safetys and other precautionary systems to make sure nothing goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong... goes wrong...
06-09-2003, 11:55 PM
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Things you don't want to hear a pilot say while flying
"Who drives that blue truck?" I do why, "I think your going to mad at me" Did you just hit my truck with that POS plane?
"yep, do ya think it will cost much to fix?" YEP.
This was the chatter at my field 3 weeks ago when a idiot landed his LT40 on the roof of my new truck(4weeks old),He did over $400 damage.Boy was I ticked off, I still cant fly with him at the field cause I want to land my plane where the sun dont shine(if ya know what I mean?)
"yep, do ya think it will cost much to fix?" YEP.
This was the chatter at my field 3 weeks ago when a idiot landed his LT40 on the roof of my new truck(4weeks old),He did over $400 damage.Boy was I ticked off, I still cant fly with him at the field cause I want to land my plane where the sun dont shine(if ya know what I mean?)