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let's hear your funny-stupid old sayings

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Old 01-01-2011, 02:09 PM
  #126  
moe7404
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back in the dark ages i meet an old guy he allways said "the good old days remember well, but they didnt live to good"
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Old 01-01-2011, 10:34 PM
  #127  
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Dont trust anything that cant be fixed with a hammer.
Slicker than hog snot.
Off like a prom dress.
Dumber than a box o rocks.
Nervous as a hooker in church.
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:54 PM
  #128  
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My dad used to say "I buy you books,send you to school and you still eat the paste."
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:56 PM
  #129  
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He is tighter than fish pu$$y,and that stuff is waterproof.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:10 AM
  #130  
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Colonel? He don't know radom from tail feathers.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:17 AM
  #131  
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If brains was lard you wouldn't grease a very big skillett, boy

He couldn't play dead in a cowboy movie
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:22 PM
  #132  
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-As useless as **** on a bull

-Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
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Old 02-27-2013, 02:15 PM
  #133  
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TWO (2) FRENCH FRIES SHORT OF A HAPPY MEAL.



WHEN somebody says something stupid...... That dog wont hunt!



dumber than dirt!       all her lights must be out!    when told see was pregnant She asked  "Is it mine"



have a nice day everyone  ahub

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Old 09-17-2014, 07:13 PM
  #134  
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"Being poor is hard. Being poor and stupid is really hard."
John Wayne
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Old 09-26-2014, 03:12 AM
  #135  
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messed up as a football bat
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Old 09-26-2014, 07:15 PM
  #136  
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From a cartoon character "Foghorn Leghorn". "That boy is as sharp as the edge of town!"
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Old 11-19-2014, 08:16 PM
  #137  
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"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."

"We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public."

"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."
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Old 04-23-2015, 09:55 PM
  #138  
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In regards to someone's intelligence and/or the speed at which someone was doing something, my Dad used to say "Man, he/she is slower than a herd of turtles!"

He also used a small twist of the same saying when leaving somewhere "And we're off, like a herd of Turtles!"

One time a young lady sent me a msg on a dating site, stating that she was "Looking for a Sugar daddy!" My response to her was "I'm sorry, but I am so broke, that I can't even afford to be your Sweet -N- Low!"

Craig.
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Old 04-01-2016, 07:07 PM
  #139  
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Worthless than **** on a bore hog. Stomp a mud hole in you *****. Your so ugly the doctor slapped your momma. If it's to loud your to old. Just a few I remember off the top of my head
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Old 04-19-2016, 07:26 AM
  #140  
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Lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut
tighter than dicks hat band
meaner than a bitten sow
drunker than cotter jones
raining like a double c##ted cow pissin on a flat rock
hornier than a 3 peckered billy goat
finer than frog hair
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Old 07-03-2017, 01:16 PM
  #141  
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1. That plane came apart like a cheap suit.

2. That plane fell out of the sky like a set of car keys.

3. That guy was one sandwich shy of a picnic.
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Old 07-11-2017, 05:32 AM
  #142  
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"Drunk as Cooter Brown" has some history behind it. There was a an actual guy named Cooter Brown whose house straddled the Mason-Dixon line during the American civil war. Both the Union and Confederate armies considered him theirs for drafting into service, but he didn't want to go. Military rules at the time said that a potential draftee must be rejected if he was intoxicated, so to render himself unfit for service Cooter Brown stayed drunk for pretty much the entire war.
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Old 08-07-2017, 02:38 PM
  #143  
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That boy's nuttier than a porta-john at a peanut festival.
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:53 PM
  #144  
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yup try your sandal is untied or you have a piece of hair in your hair, my pen isn't sharpened
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Old 12-30-2017, 04:53 AM
  #145  
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You have a choice of gifts from Santa:
The girl of your dreams or the machine of your dreams.
What kind of wheels would you put?
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Old 01-23-2018, 11:47 AM
  #146  
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If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to power a minibike around the inside of a cheerio!
I've always loved that one.
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