I was chief flight instructor at our club one season.
First thing I did:
On the very first day of flight training in the spring, I held a quick meeting in the pits. I welcomed everyone and told them to keep in mind that it was supposed to be fun. We all introduced ourselves
(instructors and A&P inspectors) and the new pilots introduced themselves and we all got aquainted for about 10 minutes.
Then I asked them, "Who doesn't think they can handle it if they crash a plane tonight?"
About 30 hands went up.
"Then take it back home and hang it up in the garage. They ALL crash. Some of them last 3 seconds. Some of them last 3 yrs. and hundreds of flights. But, they ALL crash eventually. It's part of the hobby. If you can't handle crashing it, and your gonna get mad and throw stuff and cuss and holler--then go home--this hobby isn't for you. Try RC cars or paintball or trains."
Some laughed. Some looked at each other cautiously, but no one went home.
We had a great season and managed to solo about 25 guys that year. We did loose 3 or 4 planes that year, but those guys went right out and bought new trainers. Myself and some other instructors went to their homes and helped them put the new planes together. We got those guys back up in the air and got them soloed. Not one of them took it hard. Some of them made comments about my speech on the first day and said that their first impression was that I was full of it. They took it with a laugh and a pat on the back and never looked back or had any hard feelings about it.
I think thats the best way to deal with it when your addressing newbies. Young and old. I don't like being lied too. Tell me the truth and I'll either figure out a way to deal with it and work with it--or I'll decide not to deal with it and I'll go do something else. But, tell me the TRUTH. Thats how I treat people, and I think thats how newbies should be treated. Make them fully aware that they are most likely going to smack a few planes in the first year and let them decide right then and there if thats something they can handle. If they can't handle that--then it's time to take up paintball or woodworking. But, spell it out for them up front.