RCU Forums - View Single Post - let's hear your funny-stupid old sayings
Old 02-20-2009, 04:11 PM
  #14  
victorzamora
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Greenville, SC
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Default RE: let's hear your funny-stupid old sayings

I'm from the South, so I hear these IN USE more often than I'd like. I'm sure there are more, though.

More skittish than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Colder than a witch's *** in a brass bra
So scared you couldn't pull greased floss out of his ass
Crazy as a bessy-bug.
Out quicker than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest
As useful as a trap door on a canoe
Happy as a tick on a fat dog
Finer than frog hair split four ways
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!
Don’t you piss on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!
Faster than green grass through a goose.
He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!
He’s so useless if he had a third hand he would need another pocket to put it in
That boy’s more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.
Why don’t you just take a long walk off a short pier
You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
He’d gripe with a ham under each arm.
Prettier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of pancakes
If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug
That boy’s two bricks shy of a full load
He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
He doesn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.
It’s so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.