$1000.00
04-23-2007, 08:07 PM
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$1000.00
Retirement Planning
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left,
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-KEG Plan.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left,
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-KEG Plan.
04-23-2007, 10:38 PM
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RE: $1000.00
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of
church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables
and yelled, STOP! Acts 2:38! (Repent and be baptized, in the name of
Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks.The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,
"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a
scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and
Two 38's!"
church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables
and yelled, STOP! Acts 2:38! (Repent and be baptized, in the name of
Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks.The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,
"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a
scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and
Two 38's!"
04-25-2007, 01:13 AM
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RE: $1000.00
Funny stuff... As a law student, I have to critique the joke. "Robber" and "burglar" cannot be used in the same context for the same offense (single offense). It became a robbery when the woman walked in on him; there is now a presentable victim within the element of the crime (depends on the jurisdiction (47 of 50 states), based on eminent, or perceived, threat to safety of victim). Due to the hierarchy rule, the charge would be robbery in the lower degree, i.e. Second, or Third, since the victim was not initially present (a court would have to prove, overwelmingly, that the culpret indeed had the malice aforthought of the victim's presence in the first instance of the entry).
Sorry, I did some case review, locally, for a fellow who was charged with robbery. In reality, although a sentece was deserving, he was convicted of robbery (in the Second Degree) when in fact there was NO material victim to the crime. He was convicted on the premise that he had the 'intent' to rob the victim, but, when he arrived to do the robbery no one was home (this, under a normal judicial majestrate's rational operating mind, would be burglary), but the law explicitly explains the corpus delecti of crime... Poor ******* is doing 20 years for an offense that should have been 1-3 years. This guy wasn't even an habitual offender! This, folks, is why you keep your mouths shut when being interogated by police...do not say "...yeah, I was going to rob him for the money he owed me for a bag of rock, so I took my 'nine'...he wasn't home so I decided to steal his ****", as he did. He plainly gave details to his intent of committing robbery, and since he carried out the majority of the acts in question to obtain the goal of robbery, he was charged as such. Remember, simply thinking of a crime, or illegal act, is NOT a crime. There is no "attempt", it is always 'attemted X' for it to be a crime of attemt. You Free law lesson for the day. -Phil
Sorry, I did some case review, locally, for a fellow who was charged with robbery. In reality, although a sentece was deserving, he was convicted of robbery (in the Second Degree) when in fact there was NO material victim to the crime. He was convicted on the premise that he had the 'intent' to rob the victim, but, when he arrived to do the robbery no one was home (this, under a normal judicial majestrate's rational operating mind, would be burglary), but the law explicitly explains the corpus delecti of crime... Poor ******* is doing 20 years for an offense that should have been 1-3 years. This guy wasn't even an habitual offender! This, folks, is why you keep your mouths shut when being interogated by police...do not say "...yeah, I was going to rob him for the money he owed me for a bag of rock, so I took my 'nine'...he wasn't home so I decided to steal his ****", as he did. He plainly gave details to his intent of committing robbery, and since he carried out the majority of the acts in question to obtain the goal of robbery, he was charged as such. Remember, simply thinking of a crime, or illegal act, is NOT a crime. There is no "attempt", it is always 'attemted X' for it to be a crime of attemt. You Free law lesson for the day. -Phil
05-29-2007, 12:28 AM
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RE: $1000.00
air-madness...
what do you think would be the result in this court case (my personal court case which due in a few months)
Driver 1 traveling on a 4 lane road, make a quick turn from the 2nd lane and crashed into a parked car at the traffic light. He claims there were cars turning infront of him and he had to squirl to prevent a head on collision.
There were no witnesses except for the victim on the other car who only saw the car come crashing at her at a fast speed. Estimated at 40mph when the crash happen.
Driver 1's car suffer light frontal damage. Driver's 2 car door jammed and was peeled open to carry out the victim, claimed to suffer a total damage.
Driver 2 claims that ever since the accident, she been having medical problems with her joints, mental state ect ect and suing Driver 1 for a life time of medical expenses.
My insurance company offered her $35K to settle the case, but she continue to push on with it.
I am driver 1. I am 25, accident happen when I was 22. The victim waited nearly 2 years to file a lawsuit.
.... What do you think they going to try to frame me for ?
what do you think would be the result in this court case (my personal court case which due in a few months)
Driver 1 traveling on a 4 lane road, make a quick turn from the 2nd lane and crashed into a parked car at the traffic light. He claims there were cars turning infront of him and he had to squirl to prevent a head on collision.
There were no witnesses except for the victim on the other car who only saw the car come crashing at her at a fast speed. Estimated at 40mph when the crash happen.
Driver 1's car suffer light frontal damage. Driver's 2 car door jammed and was peeled open to carry out the victim, claimed to suffer a total damage.
Driver 2 claims that ever since the accident, she been having medical problems with her joints, mental state ect ect and suing Driver 1 for a life time of medical expenses.
My insurance company offered her $35K to settle the case, but she continue to push on with it.
I am driver 1. I am 25, accident happen when I was 22. The victim waited nearly 2 years to file a lawsuit.
.... What do you think they going to try to frame me for ?
