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dog vs cat. diary entries. funny

Old 04-30-2007, 08:20 AM
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Default dog vs cat. diary entries. funny

Excerpts from dog and cats diary, FUNNY!!

>Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>
>
>
>8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
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>
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>9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
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>
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>9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
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>
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>10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
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>
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>12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
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>
>
>1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
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>
>
>3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
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>
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>5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
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>7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
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>8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
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>11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
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>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
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>Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
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>dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
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>inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
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>Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
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>nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
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>only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
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>disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
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>
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>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
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>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
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>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
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>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
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>audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
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>I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
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>However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
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>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
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>means, and how to use it to my advantage.
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>
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>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
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>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
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>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
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>
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>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
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>The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems
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>to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
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>
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>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
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>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
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>captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
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>he is safe.......for now....
Old 04-30-2007, 07:07 PM
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Default RE: dog vs cat. diary entries. funny

ROFLQQ
Old 05-01-2007, 02:34 AM
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Default RE: dog vs cat. diary entries. funny

LOLOL!!!! . . . "my favorite thing!" That's hilarious! the cat ones I found the most funny:

Original: nitro _ burner

[ul]
1[*] only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

2[*]Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

3[*]Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my ormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

4[*]The bird has got to be an informant.... captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now...
[/ul]
LOL!!!! That's the funniest take on a cat's life I have ever heard. I pinned that to the fridge for a laugh next time I get a snack

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