joke time
#1

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this joke is a little crude, so don't get offended. this doesn't reflect my views on anything, but it is quite funny.
Ferra Faucet dies and goes to heaven. God grants her wish, she wishes that all the children of the world will be safe...Michael Jackson died. When MJ got to heaven god gave him one wish. michael wished that he could be whiter... Billy Mays dies with a suitcase full of Oxi-Clean.
lets hear some of your jokes.
Ferra Faucet dies and goes to heaven. God grants her wish, she wishes that all the children of the world will be safe...Michael Jackson died. When MJ got to heaven god gave him one wish. michael wished that he could be whiter... Billy Mays dies with a suitcase full of Oxi-Clean.
lets hear some of your jokes.
#4

ORIGINAL: DarkFire989
No No No. These joke threads never last. Just delete your post.
No No No. These joke threads never last. Just delete your post.
#5
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Yes, these joke threads do not last for sure. And the sad reason why is all the clean jokes simply are not funny at all so virtually everyone always resorts to inappropriate jokes.
Worse, there are way more inappropriate jokes than there are clean ones. For example, for every clean joke I can think of (all of them are not funny anyway), I can think of at least 10 time more inappropriate jokes.
Worse, there are way more inappropriate jokes than there are clean ones. For example, for every clean joke I can think of (all of them are not funny anyway), I can think of at least 10 time more inappropriate jokes.
#17

-A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .. and some of those peanuts."
The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"
-Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Get out! We don't want your type in here"
-A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
-A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and orders two beers. They each pick up a drink and down it in one go.
The giraffe passes out on the floor and the guy starts to leave.
The bartender shouts "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The man replies "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
-Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"
-Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Get out! We don't want your type in here"
-A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
-A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and orders two beers. They each pick up a drink and down it in one go.
The giraffe passes out on the floor and the guy starts to leave.
The bartender shouts "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The man replies "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
-Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
#19
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A poppa tomato, momma tomato, and baby tomato were walking down the street...
then the baby tomato starts to slow down...
so the poppa tomato walks back and squishes him and said "Ketch up!"
then the baby tomato starts to slow down...
so the poppa tomato walks back and squishes him and said "Ketch up!"
#20

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Oh my god we're pulling out all the classics here aren't we....
Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken's foot....
Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken's foot....

#21
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Several men were in the locker room of a golf club.
When a cell phone on a bench rang, a man engaged the hands-free speaker function and began to talk.
MAN: Hello
WOMAN: Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes.
WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,000. Can I buy it?
MAN: OK, go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership. I saw one I really liked.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: $60,000.
MAN: For that price I want it with all the options.
WOMAN: Great! One more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $450,000.
MAN: Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $420,000.
WOMAN: OK. I'll see you later! I love you!
MAN: Bye, I love you too.
The man hang up the phone. The other men looked at him in astonishment.
Then he asked, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
When a cell phone on a bench rang, a man engaged the hands-free speaker function and began to talk.
MAN: Hello
WOMAN: Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes.
WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,000. Can I buy it?
MAN: OK, go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership. I saw one I really liked.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: $60,000.
MAN: For that price I want it with all the options.
WOMAN: Great! One more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $450,000.
MAN: Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $420,000.
WOMAN: OK. I'll see you later! I love you!
MAN: Bye, I love you too.
The man hang up the phone. The other men looked at him in astonishment.
Then he asked, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
#24
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ORIGINAL: SAVAGEJIM
A poppa tomato, momma tomato, and baby tomato were walking down the street...
then the baby tomato starts to slow down...
so the poppa tomato walks back and squishes him and said ''Ketch up!''
A poppa tomato, momma tomato, and baby tomato were walking down the street...
then the baby tomato starts to slow down...
so the poppa tomato walks back and squishes him and said ''Ketch up!''