possible worst joke
10-08-2003, 06:42 AM
#27
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RE: possible worst joke
I went to the library last week and asked the librarian where I would find the Self Help books. She said if she told me, that would defeat the whole purpose...
10-08-2003, 10:22 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
A grasshopper goes into a bar and sits down at a stool. The bartender comes over and says, "hey buddy, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper thinks for a minute and says, "really! you have a drink named Sherman?"
10-09-2003, 03:51 PM
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RE: possible worst joke
What does the fish say when it swims into the wall???
Dam.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
(all right, all right stop now.)
Two guys go to the the field. One flys the other leaves.
Heard while someone was flying. "Hey!!! an't ya gonna crash yet??????!!!"
Dam.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
Pete and Repete went up the hill. Pete Fell down. Who was left????
Repete.
(all right, all right stop now.)
Two guys go to the the field. One flys the other leaves.
Heard while someone was flying. "Hey!!! an't ya gonna crash yet??????!!!"
10-09-2003, 06:30 PM
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RE: possible worst joke
Two cows chatting in a field..
One says "I'm very worried about mad cows disease. How do you feel about it?"
The other replies:-
'Doesn't bother me. I'm a frog"
-DC
One says "I'm very worried about mad cows disease. How do you feel about it?"
The other replies:-
'Doesn't bother me. I'm a frog"
-DC
10-10-2003, 09:13 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
Then there was the fellow who entered a pun writing contest. He wrote ten puns to improve his chances of winning. Unfortunately "no pun in ten did".
10-11-2003, 12:47 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
The other day my mother, who is 78, came into the room and I noticed she had a suppository in her ear. I asked why she had the suppository in her ear and she just kept looking for something through out the room. So I asked her again, just a little louder... Mom why do you have that suppository in you ear. Well you should have seen the look on her face when she said... Now I know what I did with that darn hearing aid..
10-12-2003, 02:47 PM
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RE: possible worst joke
Two guys go to the the field. One flys the other leaves.
aka= Two guys go to the field in the same car. One flys 3D. The other drives off.
Someone in an office has problems with a computer. He calls the technical help person in the company. The tech person comes and fixes the problem. The first person asks, "What was wrong?"
"It was an ID ten T Error."
"What is that?"
"Write it down and it will come to you."
So he wrote down:
ID10T.
aka= Two guys go to the field in the same car. One flys 3D. The other drives off.
Someone in an office has problems with a computer. He calls the technical help person in the company. The tech person comes and fixes the problem. The first person asks, "What was wrong?"
"It was an ID ten T Error."
"What is that?"
"Write it down and it will come to you."
So he wrote down:
ID10T.
10-14-2003, 04:23 PM
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RE: possible worst joke
No
A guy calls a friend to aks why his computer is not starting. His friend asks, "What button are you pushing?"
"I'm not hitting any button!"
"The moment you hit the correct button the computer will start."
A guy calls a friend to aks why his computer is not starting. His friend asks, "What button are you pushing?"
"I'm not hitting any button!"
"The moment you hit the correct button the computer will start."
10-19-2003, 03:59 PM
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RE: possible worst joke
UGLY STICK:
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker (god) and because of the grief they have experienced he decides to grant them one wish each before they enter paradise.
They're all lined up,and God asks the first person what the wish is.
"i want to be gorgeous" said the first person,and so God snaps his fingers,and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "i want to be gorgeous too" and another snap of his fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line,the last guy in line is starts laughing.
When there was only about 10 people left,this guy was now rolling on the ground laughing his head off.
Finally,God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
the guy calms down,smirks,and says "you really wanna know what will make me happy? Make em' all ****en ugly again!"
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker (god) and because of the grief they have experienced he decides to grant them one wish each before they enter paradise.
They're all lined up,and God asks the first person what the wish is.
"i want to be gorgeous" said the first person,and so God snaps his fingers,and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "i want to be gorgeous too" and another snap of his fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line,the last guy in line is starts laughing.
When there was only about 10 people left,this guy was now rolling on the ground laughing his head off.
Finally,God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
the guy calms down,smirks,and says "you really wanna know what will make me happy? Make em' all ****en ugly again!"
10-20-2003, 05:22 AM
#43
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RE: possible worst joke
srry for double post heres 2 more jokes....
Smart kid,dumb cop:
there was a city cop on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said, "did santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the boy said "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed to boy $20 ticket for saftey violation.
The cop said "Next year tell santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said "nice horse you got there sir, did santa bring it to you?"
"yes,he sure did" chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said "Next year tell santa the di(k goes underneath the horse,not on top."
Busted:
A man approached a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked
The man said, "Everytime i talk to a woman with **** like yours,my wife appears out of nowhere."
Smart kid,dumb cop:
there was a city cop on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said, "did santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the boy said "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed to boy $20 ticket for saftey violation.
The cop said "Next year tell santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said "nice horse you got there sir, did santa bring it to you?"
"yes,he sure did" chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said "Next year tell santa the di(k goes underneath the horse,not on top."
Busted:
A man approached a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked
The man said, "Everytime i talk to a woman with **** like yours,my wife appears out of nowhere."
10-20-2003, 09:33 PM
#46
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RE: possible worst joke
Ok, this blonde (we will call her Courtney) is having computer trouble so she calls tech support on her cell phone. She explains the situation and the tech guy (we will call him bob) says to turn the computer on. The blonde pushes the on button. Bob askes her if the green light turned on. Coutney says no. Bob tells her to go under her computer and make sure every wire is firmly plugged in. The blonde says, I tried that but i can't see any of the wires. Bob asks why. The blonde replies with, "Because the lights are turned off" Bob asks "Well why the he// don't you turn em on????" The blonde replies with "Well because the powers out you idiot!" The blonde hears a click in the phone...
10-24-2003, 01:06 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
Two pretzels were walking down a street... one got assaulted (a-salt-ed)
Have you heard the joke about the jump rope..? Ahh... skip it.
I realize these are pretty bad, but it goes well with all the other ones!
Have you heard the joke about the jump rope..? Ahh... skip it.
I realize these are pretty bad, but it goes well with all the other ones!
10-24-2003, 04:05 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
A string walks into a bar, no not a steal one but a drinking one. sits down and ties himself into a knot and frais the end of himself...The bartender says "O I know your a self tying knot!" the string corrects him, "I'm affraid not"
10-24-2003, 04:10 AM
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RE: possible worst joke
I blonde was driving down a country road all fields surounding. On the corner of her eye she notices another blonde in a row boat, rowing away in the middle of the field. This pissing her off, she pulls her car over, gets out of her car, slams the door, walks to the edge of the field and begins to yell in anger, "YOU KNOW, BLONDES LIKE YOU GIVE US ALL BLONDES A BAD NAME, IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM, I'D SWIM OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR @$$!!!"