New Onboard Flight Equipment
 

Thought you might get a laugh...

New Instrument Flight Procedures

Basic rules for the CAT and DUCK method of flying are fairly well-known and simple.

A. Place a live cat on the cockpit floor. Because a cat always remains upright, she can be used in lieu of the needle and ball. Merely watch to see which way the cat leans to see which wing is low.

B. The duck is used for the instrument approach landing. Because of the fact that any sensible duck will refuse to fly under instrument conditions, it is only necessary to hurl the duck out of the plane and follow it to the ground.

There are limitations to this method, but by rigidly adhering to the following checklist a degree of success can be achieved.

1. Get a wide-awake cat. Most cats do not like to stand up. A large fierce dog in the cockpit will keep the cat at attention.

2. Get a clean cat. Dirty cats spend their time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat results in a snap roll followed by an inverted flat spin.

3. Old cats are best. Young cats have 9 lives, but an old cat has just as much to lose as you.

4. Beware of cowardly ducks. If the duck finds out that you are using the cat to stay upright, she will refuse to leave without the cat.

5. Be sure the duck has good eyesight. Near-sighted ducks fail to realize they are on the gauges and will go flogging off to the nearest hill. Very near-sighted ducks will descend to the ground in a sitting position. This maneuver is hard to follow.

6. Choose your duck wisely. Do not confuse ducks with geese. Geese are very good flyers, but seldom go in the directions you do. If your duck heads for Mexico, you have been given the goose.

Original from: Capt. Mullins
Tampa Cadet Squadron