NEWS FLASH
 

IPTNN NEWS FLASH!
(International Play Tank News Network)

A battalion of Tamiya tanks on a routine training mission were ambushed by two Heng Long Tiger I’s early this morning. “It was just awful! The devastation was horrendous. The helpless Tamiyas could only wink and blink their infrared eyes and scatter in wholesale panic as the Heng Longs opened up on them, unleashing a devastating barrage of the new Heng Long 6mm tactical nuclear BB’s!” according to an eyewitness. “All that was left of the Tamiya battalion at the end of the 1.5 minute engagement was a large puddle of very expensive plastic!” Film at 8 (okay, probably not!)

RE: NEWS FLASH
 

Quote from Sharfuhrer Lutwitz of the 501st heavy Tamiya bat. "Where was our air support? Had it arrived berhaps we could have spared a few of our over priced Panzers from this cruel, costly fate!" Reports later came in stating that many of the Tamiya operators we're using over-priced Air based transmitters on their vehicals, causing the incomming Stuka support to flownder as it reached the outskirts of the battlefield. Hauptmann Wiess, of the inbound Stuka's, blamed the snobish ground commanders for not comming to see that even sub-tamiya level Panzer commanders could have as much fun without the added cost. Oberst TANKDUEL of the 501st Tamiya Bat was unavailable for comment.

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Now this is FUN! Good one!

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:D:D:D:Dlol:D:D:D

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IPTNN specualtes that Oberst TANKDUEL of the 501st Tamiya Bat was not present on the battlefield because he and his attorney were meeting with Mrs. Tankduel's attorney trying to explain why it was necessary for him to own 7 Tamiya tanks! It has been speculated that Mrs Tankduel may have tipped off the Heng Long tank commanders of the time and place of the Tamiya battalion's training exercise. Now, this is sheer speculation but the whole episode may have been sparked by Oberst TANKDUEL's habbit of taking all 7 Tamiya tanks to bed with him each night.

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Deputy Fuhrer Tom responded in a press release today that the HL attack was an fluke, and that the mechanical problems that plague the sub $100 tanks would keep them from mounting another attack for months. The Deputy Fuhrer then retired to his dimly lit, stale smelling hobby room to start repairs on the 501st, which has an estimated cost of $1000's

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Now that WAS funny! :D:D:D

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IPTNN NEWS FLASH!

While the Tamiya tanks did take one or two hits their amour assured protection from most hits, they were soon able to get out of range of the Hen Long tanks, due to their short range and poor trajectories. After the tamiya tanks had regrouped, they were not suprised that the hen long tanks did not press the attack, after a probe it was determined that all the hen long tanks had broken down due to thrown tracks or poor transmitters.

Oberst TANKDUEL of the 501st Tamiya Bat commented " that tends to happen a lot" :D

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IPTNN

Tired of being the subject of ridicule, Henlong Commanders decided to put on a public display to showcase their 'version' of the hobby.
Unfortunately the proving ground selected for this extravaganza was on a 2 degree slope which meant the Henlongs could only operate in a downhill direction.
Unfortunately the henlongs were pounced upon by a large group of love starved squirrels and a confused skunk and were carried off into nearby woods to be used as 'love slaves'; never to be seen again.

This forced the indefinite postponement of the formation of a new worldwide henlong regulatory body 'World Henlong Airsoft Tankers' (WHAT!).

President elect for WHAT!, Tanker 447 was overheard saying..DOH!

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I am sad to report that I had to turn down the WHAT position because I no longer qualify for the post! It was my tank that the skunk carried off into the woods which would make the WHAT position a "tankless job". I am now working on a RC skunk decoy with Tamiya running gear and painted with Tamiya "stinky" paint in the hopes of locating my precious HL Tiger.

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http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/negative9.jpg

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/whocares4.jpg


Oh and BTW, I don't even own a Tamiya. I'm just responding cause this is so lame.

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Just an update on the court case. Turns out the wife's lawyer's name was Mr Long. Their defence broke down and they pleaded 'no contest'.:D:D

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Tanker 447, your henlong was last sighted being proposed to at the Casbah by a skunk named Pepe LePhew..:D:D

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IPTNN NEWS FLASH!

Later reports confirm that the whole battle was merely an elaborate hoax orchestrated by one lowly HL owner, who thought of the idea when he saw the little puff of blue smoke rise from his electronics board. The entire incident is now being compared to the Roswell scare of days past. The HL tanker may have seen a weather balloon and just went into a tizzy over nothing. :D

Jason

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:D:D:D:D:D NOW THIS IS GREAT

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IPTNN
Follow up report
Jason,AKA Icecreamslick who was present on the day was observed gleefully throwing his new Henlong high into the air, and watching it crash to the ground, breaking into pieces.
Asked why he did this, Jason replied that it was an accident. Inside sources have however confirmed that Jason intentionally destroyed his henlong out of frustration with it not working, Jason's 'cover story' was developed in order to spare himself from further ridicule from Tamiya owners,having recently betrayed their ranks .:D:D

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HEY! HEY! You leave Roswell out of this! Is nothing sacred! By the way, I found my HL tiger! The decoy worked! I can accept the WHAT position afterall! Yipee!

The comment I made about the Tamiya paint - man - you definetly need a well ventilated work area to work with that stuff. I was using it outside today, airbrushing and it still about got me. I would sure like to know the chemical composition of that stuff - but it IS great paint! The finish of the FLAT is exceptional - no reflection of anykind and I notice that it really cures to a durable finish after about 4 days. First time I used it was about 3 weeks ago. After seeing Tom's work and reading his comments about the paint.

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WHAT! has learned from an inside source that the 501st has been testing a new weapon. Sources say that it has been rigorously tested and has been labeled the "Laser Energized Panzer Eliminator Ray" or "LEPER". This source has stated that it is capable of penetrating through any material. [X(] It is also reported to be capable of frying cheap unprotected circuit boards with ease.

Only one prototype has been fielded to date, and it is unknown if it has been used in actual RC tank on tank combat. All participants are still waiting for a formal reaction from WHAT!.

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ITPNN UPDATE

Having found his Henlong, now adorned with a mysterious 'whitewash' on it, Tanker447 was elected unopposed as the founding President of WHAT!
His main opposition, Templar had withdrawn as a candidate.
Sources revealed that Templar has purchased a two piece rubber band powered balsa glider for $1 and is now too busy lecturing the RC flying community on what a great deal he got, that he does not have the time to devote to WHAT!

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ITPNN UPDATE

ChrisJi has announced that the Marui Tank Group TIM TAM (Tamiyas in Minature, To Attack Massed hen longs) is being organised to counter the Hen long threat :D

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News Flash

The leaders of WHAT and TIM TAM have brokered a peace deal and agreed to amalgamate.
They will be known from now on as
World Henlong Amalgamation with TIMTAM , Tamiya Haters Especially, Federated Union. (WHAT THE FU..)

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Oh, no no no! There are no Tamiya haters that I know of.....don't believe anything you hear from ITPNN which is a subversive news agency trying to confuse people who depend on the believable IPTNN. WHAT will never amalgamate, NEVER, EVER, EVER. It would be a psycho-sensory juxtaposition of massive implications!
Anybody got any tactical nuclear bb's left? I'm out!
Have to leave now to wash my tank!

Anybody know what amalgamate means?

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ITPNN latest.

WHAT have announced they will soon be releasing their mission statement entitled 'Henlong Organised Warfare' (HOW) stay tuned for the announcement of their Executive Committee ' World Henlong Event Regulatory Executives' , (WHERE).

ITPNN asked WHAT about HOW but WHERE was still undecided on HOW, said WHAT.

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lol

ITPNN Update

Outraged by WHAT's actions TIM TAM asks what is the Tamiya Groups name? and asks to open talks into how to incorporate it's 1/24 scale tanks as a light attack force for any future alliance :)

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Thats easy Chris . World RC Tank Headquarters (THQ) although its 20 member clubs are mainly Tamiya oriented the group is open for all RC Tank groups to affiliate with, that is, ones that actually exist, haha.
Nev