I am not suggesting for one second that this applies to Ralph but I couldn't resist it



An "advanced age" couple book a honeymoon suite in the "Viagra Falls" hotel to celebrate their 80th wedding anniversary.
The bell boy, while taking their luggage to the suite, thinks to himself, "At this age, they are booking a suite. What a waste!"
After leaving them in their room with a very heavy tip he decides to spy on them. At night, he sits in the lobby opposite their room. And what does he hear? Laughing and clapping sounds from their room. All night long.
He could not believe his ears. In the morning, he apologized to the husband for having spied on them, but being very inquisitive, he asks him how can he do what he did at this age.
The husband replied, "See it is this way. First, I remove my clothes. Then I lie down on the bed face up. Then my wife removes her clothes. Then..." The bell boy leans into the old man and says, "Then what, WHAT?"
The old husband smiles and says, "Then my wife lifts up my p*n*s with one hand, and then we make a bet."
The bell boy hollers, "A BET? What bet?!"
If it falls to left, I win; and if it falls to right she wins," the husband replied with a smirk.
The bell boy asks, "Well, what if it doesn't fall?"
"Then we both win.", says the old man.