To answer the question directly, most guys who try to learn on a glow trainer with out help, do in fact, go though more money in broken airplanes and parts than they would have spent if the joined a club.
Not all, just most. Sims help a lot. Doing a lot of reading on how airplanes do what they do helps as well. (ie, ground schooling on your own). I'd suggest a SPAD (
www.spadtothebone.com) for an airplane as they are much more durable than a conventional ARF and fly as well. If you want to go the Balsa route, look at the LT-40. Of the .40 size trainers, it's the slowest flying, so it's least likely to get ahead of you. I've found my students seem to have the least problems with the Evo engines. There's nothing wrong with the .40LA, sure it's not as powerful as the other engines, but it will get the job done, and frankly if you are learning on your own, the lower airspeeds that result will be a good thing. I also recommend no higher than a 5 pitch prop, again to keep things moving slowly so you have time to think.
You shouldn't have to join both AMA and MAAC, they have some reciprocity agreements. Since I don't life close to the boarder, you'd have to ask around to see how that actually works in practice though.
One other thing
As for radio, [....]. 4 channels like mine are usually shoooort ranged and have crashed many of my planes.
I don't know what Tx this poster has, but all the 4channel boxes I've used have all had plenty of range, and the same output power as the more expensive transmitters. However, some 4 channel radios come with single conversion RXs and "micro" flight packs that are designed for park fliers. You'll want to avoid those, as the Rx isn't suitable for a .40 sized glow plane. It's not the Tx though.