ORIGINAL: dubd

Rex, thanks for sharing your thoughts. We're all blessed to be able to bicker over toy airplanes rather than more important things happening in the world and our lives. I appreciate your contribution to this discussion and also want to state that although Lowell and I had our disagreements after the crash, he was always helpful and courteous beforehand.

I can remember a time shortly before my crash where I actually had fun with the hobby, but unfortunately that is no longer the case. I look at my jets in disgust rather than in jubilation. The negative attitude I have towards the hobby stems from the flack I have been getting for putting my neck on the line. Had I just taken Lowell's offer, FEJ would not be improving their planes to this degree as you claim, Mike Lin at GJC may not be working on a standard for how to develop stabs, and we might continue to be more lax on policing ourselves.

For everything that has been said on these forums, I have masked the negative and hateful remarks sent to me via text message, PM, and email. In one case, someone who I thought was a friend sent me a message stating what I could have done for my son with the money I spent on the F-14. This crash and the aftermath, more than anything, has shown me who is a true friend and who isn't. As thick of a skin as I try and have, the negativity has taken a toll on me.

I hope FEJ can improve their planes. If they do, I hope I get the privilege to fly one of them. I was a big fan of their large Hawk, F-16, and F-15. One day I will be able to have fun again with the hobby... but I haven't gotten there yet.

For those who have told me that there is no crying in model jets... The only time I've cried since childhood was when my Dad was killed 2 years ago and when my son was born 3 months ago, so to insinuate I would cry over a toy airplane, whether figuratively or literally, is an incredible insult to me and I do take offense to it. You have misread me if you confuse my brazenness and resolve with crying.