Out of your choices and parameters, I'd go with the Taigen or Torro.
You won't be happy with the HL as a modeler, there will be too much you'll need to do from the start just to enjoy your purchase.
Tamiya is a kit and hits on you desire for quality and realism, but isn't really upgradeable since you'll have everything you'll to run for years, but you pay for it upfront.
If metal is a must (not my choice) and you want to slowly upgrade things over time, the other two are the way to go.
Keep in mind, with any of those, you're going to want a hobby grade transmitter eventually.
In terms of BB or IR, it depends on whether you just want to drive one around and shoot targets or eventually battle with others (in a club or with friends).
Generally, HL is pretty low quality, not really meant to function over time, built to run for a while with a little tinkering here and there. Taigen is an upgrade of HL, offering parts, service and reliability. Tamiya is a well engineered kit with warranties and service (lifetime in North America, but I'm not sure about elsewhere).