If I ever get sued for something I will insist that the case be confined to the court room, a sitting justice and no jury. It is so easy for the trial to become a place for the claimant to be portayed as a an innocent victim of that dirty guy over there and a jury, picked from people off the street with nothing better to do, to be suckered into believing it. If it's a case of the law I want a judge who knows the law not some guy who wants free room and board for a couple of days.

Then there's the story of the attorney who was fishing from a boat surrounded by sharks. He fell overboard and was immediately tossed back into the boat. When asked how he did it he replied, "Professional courtesy".