DCD,

I think you'll be happy with RealFlight. While it's not a step by step video (or at least I don't remember it as such), the instructor section is very good. It has a picture of a transmitter on the screen while the instructor narrates his actions. This way, you can hear and see what is going on.

There is a "One week to Solo" or something like that video around. That may also be a good purchase.

The best bet, is to play around on the simulator while you are looking for clubs, buying gear, etc. That way you get your and your son's fingers used to the whole flying thing. Then when you find a club, go to a meeting and go to the field and talk with some of the people there. They will end up being the best resource for you.