Speaking of weird crashes I had a SIG Rascal C taken out by a spooked duck on landing approach. The crash knocked the gear out and ruined a wheel pant but all in all not a lot of damage.
Maybe we can find a self-help group for Pork Chop and get him in therapy? Or pull a Clockwork Orange and force him to watch R/C videos and every time an electric comes on the screen we shock the %$#@ out of him?