Thanks for all the tips. I"m not sure which one of your tips worked because I basically did all of them. I think the flux was the key and not too much heat. The flux came in a little can and really should be inside the solder. I dipped the solder in the flux and touched it to the metal and things started to flow inside the joint (finally). I also took emory cloth and took the finish off the 4-40 rod. Man this is touchy stuff. I thought it would be easy. I gave all the control rods a good pull and they aren't coming apart. You can tell by how the joint looks when you know there's solder deep inside there. It clings to the joint real tight.

It didn't make sense when I saw all the flux just burn off and didn't help the solder flow into the joint. Once I dipped the solder in it, the process worked better. It seems like you need them both applied at the same time.

Thanks again,
Joe