That is your experience, and in your way of looking at things ( and most other people's ) what you say is probably all correct.
However, in my case I know that I learned by myself - first by access to a simulator to get my coordination right, then by the odd crash, and the odd cut finger, to wake up my ideas, I made it!

The key to the whole effort was to scratch build an almost indestructable aircraft, ( which cost me all of $10 and a little time).
An instructor would have been great, but I went along to a local club who frowned on my aircraft and was rather obstructive, so I decided to try by myself, and was successful!

Another reason for this decision was that I'm not able to look up or sideways and need to sit in a special chair ( which I mentioned before ).

My main point is, too many people are put off at the beginning by the huge list of rules, (which are often flaunted by the rulemakers themselves), and the cost of kits which often only survive one crash.
In my opinion, only a few sensible rules are necessary, and only a very inexpensive aircraft is necessary to learn on.