It lives!!! I think I was experiencing what is called "hydraulic lock". My first clue was the spray coming out of the carb when the starter turned it over. Also, the starter would simply jam at the top of the compression stroke. It took so much force to move any further I was afraid I would bust the prop.

I removed the engine from the mount and gas tank, and set it on the desk. As I did, it rolled to the side a bit and fuel literally started pouring out of the muffler. After a few minutes of drainage, I remounted and reconnected the engine, primed it correctly (this time!) and voilĂ*! Up she fired. Anyone looking in my garage would have had the shock of their life; its not a pretty site to see a 6'9" 300lb white boy doing the dance of joy and screaming "woohoo!" over and over again.

So now comes the art of tuning. It definitely sounds rough, so I'll play with the needle and follow the next part of the instructions. Thanks guys for all the help!!

-J