Don't sweat it Stonedeaf, we're here to help you
Everybody has their opinions and it's easy that your original question will be disected into many small discussion about details and personal preferences.

This is not such a big thing!
Eventough it might seem daunting at first, you'll get your head around all this equipment and tech-talk in no time!
What you need to do is to read lot's of info and draw your own conclusions, or make it simple and follow my guide here

Radio
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Futaba 6EXA, perfect beginner radio with everything you need to fly your normal trainer, second plane and any standard, fixed wing aircraft.
It won't do helicopters, complex multichannel gliders or big scale warbirds, as a beginner/sunday flier, neither will you!
The radio should come with all electronics you need; 4 standard servos, reciver, chrystal (that's the thing that determines your channel #), Transmitter and reciver battery + battery charger.

Plane
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Any standard ARF .40 size trainer will be fine.
I saw in another thread that you have looked at the Hobbico Avistar, fine, it's a popular model and it'll be perfect.


Engine
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Get a good .46 ballbearing engine such as the TT46-pro or the OS 46-ax. This engine has the same casing size as a .40 and will fit perfect in the trainer.
The extra power will come handy in a tricky situation and it'll have enough power to be transfered to your second plane (Perhaps a low-wing sport plane such as the SIG 4*40 or Tiger 2)
You can always trottle back, but in the long run, you'll appreaciate the extra power!

Stuff
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Glow heater, to start the engine
Chicken stick, to flip the prop (you'll get an electrical starter later on, but a chicken stick will do in the beginning)
Glow plugs, OS#8 is very good to this engine
Fuel, any standard glow engine fuel will do, perhaps coolpower 10% or Powermaster 15% or whatever brand your hobbyshop carries.
Hand-crank fuel pump, simple system to get fuel from the jug into your plane
Assortment of tools, small wrench, screwdrivers, some allenwrenches, glue, knife, DUCTAPE etc...

Most importantly
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Join your local flying club and get an instructor.
He or she will check over your plane, help you with the radio set-up, testfly the plane and finally hook you up on a buddybox and let you have a go at it.


...See it's easy!
I should know, I've been a beginner twice (Learned, then had a 5 year break, learned again)