for just plain ol' flaps, i've got about 30 degrees (activated by channel 5 switch). they used to be at about 45, but i switched servos and haven't messed with it yet. with 45 degrees, i can nearly hover to a dead stop with no headwind, and the plane will very slowly decend (will fly backwards with a headwind). i can also go straight down from way up while holding just a tad down elevator to counteract the upward push of the flaps and land in VERY short order. when i set up my flaps originally i just went for max throw.
as for flaperons, i've got about 10% mixed in with elevator, and that coupled with flaps will lift off in less than 5 feet. if you are constantly climbing with flaps down you are going too fast! try slowing to almost a stall and then drop flaps, then power up to just fly fast enough to not lose or gain altitude.