ohh noes, piper u really are in deep. this addiction cannont be fixed by your self, YOU MUST SEEK HELP!! It is to strong for you to handle alone, and that is where we have gone wrong. trying to right our selves by our selves. go get help, don't run to the flying field. they will just pull you back in. try the court house or some place like that, they usually have some help classes there.