nevermind, i got it figured out. if anyone else is having this problem this is what i did:
-in FMS go to controls, joystick, then in the little list go to joystick again (not the port it was plugged into) and see if the controller is recognized and you can select it
-if not then in windows (i have xp) go to control panel, game controlers, add custom controller
-then make one with 4 axis and 3 buttons and see if it gets recognized,
-then repeat the first part

when you get the contoller to work, you have to calibrate it and correct all of the channels (ie. it thinks the throttle is the roll)

hope it helps