I agree with what you said, Mike.

I think the best of all options is to find someone you can do this with, one on one on a friendship basis. That is what I did. My instructor was friendly, always there when we planned, and he really knew the most important thing- when to not say anything and let me make mistakes. I don't care how good the instructor is, you are going to bang up your first plane some. Maybe not at his 'school', but it is normal as you progress. You can't teach it all in one weekend. There is no way you can experience winds, mistakes, curves thrown your way, bad days, etc. It takes a lot of trips out to the field. Plus, you learn how to crank over that period of time, how to diagnose simple things, simple repairs, etc. Nobody will be that good with a few sessions at a flying school. That is just the way it is.

There are benefits from learning from one instructor. There are benefits from learning from several. The bad thing is that you pick up his/their bad habits. Also, egos get involved no matter how much anyone tries to be mature and avoid it. So, saying all of that, I would suggest sticking with one instructor until you are flying on your own and then start asking around for tips. That is the only way you have a chance to filter the b.s. from the good stuff.