I've found that the added pitch of a 4530 GWS prop does a better job than the 3020. The extra pitch plus the torgue of the bl 12mm produces faster push at lower rpm. your right about the time it takes for a bl motor to spin up. with more pitch it doesn't have to spin as fast to gain authority.

I haven't had any problem with heat due to the fact that a 4100kv tail motor is simply not working all that hard. I don't even use a heat sync which also helps in tail weight.

Setup:
feigao 12mm with GWS DD adaptor and 4530 prop
cc10 esc
gy240

Yes, it will slide an average of 3 inches on hard punch outs and quick drop catches. I think the key is being happy with what you have and learning to fly it the way it is. There are more than enough vids of young kids showing us how it could be if we were simply good enough to actually fly the tail in hard torque moves.

I have a great setup and I don't think I'm being biased either. but I know for sure I spent to much for what I got.