FLYING CLUB RULES FOR MEN

1. Thou shall never, under any circumstances, finish a model in pink unless it is for a female member of your family (and she must be the only one that ever flies it!).

2. When a fellow modeler's plane "goes in" you are allowed to help him pick up the parts, disassemble the parts, buy him beer, and listen to him whimper. But, under no circumstances may you ask him, "What happened?" And, you are allowed to clobber anyone who does.

3. Further, even if you know with 100% certainty that a friend's crash was due to pilot error, you must agree with any excuses he offers. Criticizing him for anything related to the crash is strictly forbidden. (written for Mike Luvara)

4. When you are questioned by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, or mother, you must not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts or about his modeling expenditures. You are, in fact, permitted to deny his very existence! (written for anyone talking to Chris's wife)

5. Any person who walks up to a modeler and tells him how he would have done "this or that" differently on the model is to be placed in his own "Information Booth" located on the end of the runway.

6. You may exaggerate any modeling story told at a flying site or club meeting within a reasonable limit. (Exception: When trying to sell a used airplane, in which case there is no limit.)

7. Secretly hoping to watch some mid-airs at the field is bad karma unless it is directed toward T-34 racers.

8. Complaining about the brand of prop you borrow from a buddy is absolutely forbidden. You may, however, gripe if it's cracked or has obviously already been used as a paint stirrer.

9. Agreeing to distract another flier while your buddy goes after the frequency clip is your required duty! And should you accidentally take a frequency clip home with you, your pals are forbidden to ever speak of it.

10. Before selling a model acquired from a friend, you are required to ask that friend's permission, and he, in return, is required to grant it.

11. Women who claim, "I love to watch R/C flying" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate intimate knowledge of the sport… and the ability to clean a model after flight. (This is especially true of a women trying to convince a modeler to marry her.)

12. The internationally accepted compensation for buddies who help you find a lost model is free beer and pizza… lots of pizza! (written for the 900 guys I've helped retrieve their planes)