RE: I'm a big idiot!
You need more time on the buddy box, don't you think? Planes are only really fun when you get to know them. They've each got a personality, and they each can do quite a bit more than we discover in the first few flights.
There's no shame in slowing down and mastering the fundamentals. Those include developing judgment on when and where to fly. None of the fundamentals come naturally to most of us--they take time.