RE: I'm a big idiot!
Why do you come here and ask questions, then refuse any suggestion of an instructor or buddy box?
now lets see here. 2 Nexstars both crashed, 25 flights, and you want a more aerobatic airplane. An instructor will teach you more than flying. In a previous post someone told you where a field was with an instructor. Someone else suggested that you spend at least a few hours with an instructor. I know you live a couple of hours from a field.
You can buy alot of gas (enough for the round trip to the field) for the price of that second nexstar.
At an average 12.5/15 flight per plane, stick with a trainer