You do need it pretty hot, Solder can make a difference as well.

The little hand held ones won't do it. And if it is a real pointy tip, it does not work that well either, My tip is a square point tip and touches at four points in the connector.

This style never worked for me.
http://www.radioshack.com/product/in...ductId=2062728

These work really well
http://www.cooperhandtools.com/brand...c=037103475848

This is what I have only mine is a heathkit model my dad made about 25 years ago and still works like a charm
http://www.tools-hills.com/Weller/We...B000AS3C34.htm

Definatley need the heat,
Jeff