I'm sorry to hear about your pain. life has highs and lows and you'r in a very bad low and we all get at this point some time in are life, it sucks real bad and I hope for the best cuz some time hope is all we got. My sister is on ssi and she got a crazy mortgage at like 2.9% for 30years so look around I know there are hands out there you just have to grab them.