Dale_8888,

Don't let let anyone beat you up over your decision. Should you have used an instructor, yeah, but at least you have learned from your mistake. Move on, get you an instructor. You will feel MUCH better about learning to fly! I had my first lesson last weekend and afterwards I was walking about 2 feet off the ground. It was a HUGE adrenaline rush! I've tried to learn by myself with an electric and it just doesn't work. The instructors are there to bail you out and talk you through your problems while flying. Trust me, you will feel much better about your ability once you've successfully flown with an instructor.