Don't sweat the wing incidence. It sounds like you're stalling the plane and dropping it hard. That'd happen no matter what the incidence. It's the AOA that stalls the wing, and the wing is free to reach a stall AOA no matter what angle the fuselage or stab is to it.

We've got a couple of guys at the field who refuse to let their models come on in. Both of them basically slow at least one landing a day until the airplane stops flying. It's usually the last flight of the day for that airplane. They've heard it over and over that they just need to leave a couple mph on the plane and the suckers wouldn't thump down, but they just can't seem to do let the airplane keep any speed and come on in.

Every airplane has a safe, lowest landing speed. If the airplane stalls on landing, it was slowed down more than that safe, lowest speed.