As for your problems with the clubs.

The AMA has setup an arrangement with clubs that offers you and others like you an opportunity to fly with AMA instructors at AMA clubs. Some AMA instructors have authorization to instruct non-AMA members on the club property and all be covered by insurance. It works. I've got a couple of students who aren't members of either AMA or the club. So I know it works and think it's an excellent deal.

A bit of advice......... Ask whomever you contact at any club about their instructors. And you make your decisions from the answers you get. Clubs really don't come about because flyers are driven to teach the masses their hobby. It's really not often that the bunch of guys who got together to fly and needed a place to do it also happen to have guys who even wish to teach others. It's great when it happens, but it's not the fault of any club that it didn't happen for them.