RE: I need help
As far as being a crutch? I couldn't disagree more. These are tools that allow you more flexibility with your airplane.
An example: My Showtime 90 has high rates set at 100% and low rates at 70%. I use low rates for takeoff, landing or just lazy circuits around the field, I flip on the high rates to tare up the sky.
When you put together a kit or ARF the instructions will usually show how much deflection is recommended for high or low and after you fly for a while you will be able to make adjustments to the throws to suit your flying style and comfort level.