I'm hardly in a position to instruct, but I can share my opinions. Flight sims get you about 35% trained for what might actually happen in the field. Until they come up with one that has "additional 15 mph wind gusts". "clump of dirt on the runway" , "engine quits suddenly" and "downdraft on approach" settings on a randomizer they won't mimic reality. They are great for getting you used to the transition between your aircraft coming and going. Now if you had to buy new software and load it every time you crashed it would help with the presure and nervousness of putting a creation of your own blood, sweat and tears up in the air and hoping you remembered to recharge everything and properly pre-flight check all control surfaces, fasteners, fittings, etc. etc.

I'm not a big fan of electrics, so I don't know a good one to choose for "outdoors." (Just pickin' on ya). Anything you can get that weighs over six pounds with a 20 oz./in^2 wing loading should do well in 15 knot winds.

20 plus years ago I learned to fly 2-channel on elevator and rudder, and you landed when the gas ran out - no throttle. Made it a challenge to be in the right place to land when the motor stopped. So, you went high when you anticipated being near the end and flew it as a glider for as long as you could. One chance at landing. That's the way I use my simulator. Take it up, kill the engine, land it on the strip.

As far as ailerons. I see no problem in learning with them from the start. Learning on a trainer with enough dihedral to bank on rudder only won't gain you much when you "move up" to an aeroplane with flat, symmetrical wings that only yaws when you feed in rudder. You'll need to learn ailerons anyway. Might as well learn it while you have an instructor on the buddy-box instead of later when you are on your own. (We all want to get off that umbillical ASAP, after all). If you're on tour own already - just don't tey to use ailerons to change direction on the ground.