I am one of the "have not broken one in X of years". I think it has been 15 years. And I fly my stuff hard. It sounds like your are not gapping them right. I do mine as follows. I dry hinge the surface. Then deflect it a little past what the max will be. While pushing the surface against the wing or whatever and holding the deflection I apply a few drops to the first side. Normally I have the surface going down. So then I tilt the plane or wing the opposite way and do three or so more drops. The idea being gravity is helping the glue run both ways. Then I flip the whole thing over and do the other side. I have 3D planes with several hundred flight on them and the hinges are fine.
BTW if the ARF is from a lesser know company I use Great Planes hinges insead of the supplied ones. Just to be safe.

David