I don't know if others agree with this, but I've been judging by how well I can take off land my plane. If my plane is a handful to control near the strip in varying wind conditions, then I won't add throw to my control surfaces until I am comfortable enough to handle a head wind and a cross wind.

You may adjust things independently, too. Today I was remaidening my plane after repairs. Taking off I noticed that I was able to keep it perfectly level (right to left) with very minimal effort, and there was a nice cross wind. I took this as an indicator that I can comfortably handle some more aileron throw. I had a difficult time landing however, due to some pretty drastic tail movements, so I reduced the throw of my rudder. As for your elevator issues, you shouldn't need too much to get your plane in the sky. I doubt it's a throw related issue. I would check to see if you front landing gear is bent, which would lower the nose and therefore not pull the plane in the sky as much. Also I would check the elevator trim once it's flying. Again, you should only need to pull back a little bit to get the front wheel off the ground. I had bent gear on my Nexstar and noticed it was taking a long time to get off the ground, even at high speeds. I also noticed I could use a couple/three more clicks of up elevator, which really helped with taking off. I guess I adjust my elevator by how twitchy it feels in the sky. If a small amount of down elevator will make me lose a lot of altitude, I might reduce the throw. Or if the plane stalls a lot with up elevator, again I'd reduce the throw.