I'm not going to comment on your flying, I think it has all been said, but I would like to comment on the folks who post on this board.

Most of the guys who post on this board, and everyone that has replied to this thread, do so because they truly want to help people in this hobby. I have been reading this board for 2 years and rarely does somebody get out of line with their advice or criticism. Once in a while a beginner will come along with a post like yours, asking for advice and then ignoring the advice they are given. Sometimes they have a "succesful" flight, but much more often they destroy their plane and exit the hobby.

Like others here, I hope you find a safe place to fly and learn how to fly properly. If you succeed, I guarantee that in the future you will look back on this thread and cringe.

Good luck.